It all began with the Quarter Quell
by MusicIsJustMe
Summary: Katniss is actually with child during the Quarter-Quell. It was never a lie. And what will happen when the capitol snatches Katniss instead of Peeta?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of the Hunger Games or the characters, as they belong to Suzanne Collins. Parts of this fan fiction may be 'copied' from the books, but only to make the experience for the readers as true as it were coming from the books. No Copyright infringement intended.

(My story begins on Chapter 13; Catching Fire)

Chapter 1:

_What did I come for? _I think. _What could I possibly want here?_

"I came for a drink," I say.

Haymitch bursts out laughing and slams the bottle on the table before me. I run my sleeve across the top and take a couple gulps before I come up choking. It takes me a few minutes to compose myself, and even then my eyes and nose are still streaming. But inside me, the liquor feels like fire and I like it.

"Maybe it should be you," I say matter-of-factly as I pull up a chair. "You hate life, anyway."

"Very true," says Haymitch. "And since last time I tried to keep _you_ alive… Seems like I'm obligated to save the boy this time."

"That's another good point," I say, wiping my nose and tipping up the bottle again.

"Peeta's argument is that since I chose you , I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you," says Haymitch.

I knew it. In this way, Peeta's not hard to predict. While I was wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was here, thinking only of me. Shame isn't a strong enough word for what I feel.

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know," Haymitch says.

"Yeah, yeah," I say brusquely. "No question, he's the superior one in this trio. So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Haymitch sighs. "Go back in with you maybe, if I can. If my name's drawn at the reaping, it wont matter. He'll just volunteer to take my place."

We sit for a while in silence. "It'd be bad for you in the arena, wouldn't it? Knowing all the others?" I ask.

"Oh, I think we can count on it being unbearable wherever I am." he nods at the bottle. "Can I have that back now?"

"No," I say, wrapping my arms around it. Haymitch pulls another bottle out from under the table and gives the top a twist. But I realize I am not just here for a drink. There's something else I want from Haymitch. "Okay, I figured out what I'm asking," I say. "If it is Peeta and me in the Games, this time we keep _him_ alive."

Something flickers across his bloodshot eyes. Pain.

"Like you said, it's going to be bad no matter how you slice it. And whatever Peeta wants, it's his turn to be saved. We both owe him that." My voice takes on a pleading tone.

"Besides, the Capitol hates me so much, I'm as good as dead now. He might still have a chance. Please, Haymitch. Say you'll help me."

He frowns at his bottle, weighing my words. "All right," he says finally.

"Thanks," I say. I should go visit Peeta now, but I don't want to. My head's spinning from the drink, and I'm so wiped out, who knows what he cold get me to agree to? No, now I have to go home to face my mother and Prim.

As I stagger up the steps to my house, the front door swings open, and I find that I'm not where I thought I was. Peeta is standing in the doorway, staring at me, taking in the sight of my drunken state. Before I can stop myself, the tears are spewing from my eyes, an endless waterfall. Peeta takes me in his arms, and I don't fight him.

"Shh, it'll all be fine. We're in this together," he says. "I wont let anything happen to you."

"No," I say. I'm having trouble focusing, and spirits keep sloshing out of my bottle, down the back of his shirt, but he doesn't seem to take notice, much less care. "I-it wont…" I hiccup and continue to sob into his ever forgiving shoulder, as he brings me inside. I am a blubbering lunatic, and for once in my life, I don't care how others see my emotions.

The words I am trying to speak aren't coming out like I want. "Oh, Peeta!" I sob, and before I can say another word, his lips are on mine, instantly calming me. I pull away for a second, to really get a good look at him. The pain I see in his eyes is insurmountable, and I cant stand it. There is a sudden urgency in both of us, like we will never see each other again after this evening, and I believe it.

The fire within me is burning stronger than ever, and all I want is Peeta Mellark. I want every bit of him to surround me, protect me, pleasure me. I am selfish, but so is he. I can sense he doesn't want to stop, and I think he knows I don't want to either.

His hands intertwine with my hair, move down my back, and around my waist. I don't want him to stop. Carefully, I un-tuck his shirt, and slowly begin to rip open the buttons. He pulls away from me. "Wha-"

"Shhh" I croon, as I lean in to kiss him again. He doesn't protest at first, and then his hands are on my shoulders, pushing me away.

"Katniss," He says. "Your hands, you're bleeding all over me.."

"Oh," I sigh, as I take in the sight of my bloody, mangled hands. "I-I don't know what…" Now I remember. Vaguely, but only just, punching through the glass window in one of the unoccupied Victors houses.

"You should go see your mother." he sighs. Clearly he didn't want our time to end just yet.

"But," I stammer. "I don't want to. I want to stay here with you tonight. I need you, and you need me too."

"I know, but I'm no healer…"

I sniffle, like a defeated child, and finally I agree. Not wanting everyone to see me in my condition, I ask Peeta if he will go and get my mother. I don't think I can face Prim, and without a doubt, I know Gale will be there too. I wipe all evidence of tears, spirits, and Peeta's and my exchange, before my mother can see me.

I sit alone in Peeta's kitchen for only minutes before my mother walks in, Peeta close behind. I can barely see her face, but I can tell she too, has been crying. I don't say anything, and neither does she. She is in doctor mode, and I make no attempt to bring her out of it. Peeta sits by my side, and strokes my hair, caresses my cheek, while my mother works. I am too numb from the Quell announcement and the liquor to feel much pain. Once I have been stitched and cleaned, my mother gets up to leave. "Staying here tonight?" she says, trying to keep her voice stable.

All I can do is nod, but Peeta tells her that he will watch over me, make sure I don't do anything else reckless. She nods to him, gives me one more remorseful look, and is on her way.

We stare at each other wordlessly for a few moments before he gingerly takes my hand, trying hard not to upset the new sutchers, and makes me stand. He gestures to my bottle of spirits on the table and says, "No more of that for you. I think we've done enough damage for one night." cracking on of his trademark grins.

I look at him, trying to decide whether to laugh in agreement, or scowl and take the bottle back. But my brain is to ruffled to make any sane decisions right now, and before I can realize I'm moving, he's led me halfway through his house and up the stairs.

I don't protest, and let him lead me to his bedroom, where he sits me on his perfectly made bed, and takes in the sight of me. "You're a mess, you know?" and he moves in closer to me. He goes to remove my sweaty, spirit sodden shirt, and I stop him for a second before letting him continue. Something I always knew I loved about him, his gentleness, his kind way of doing things, and I am glad he is here, glad he is the one undressing me.

=/

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	2. Chapter 2

**Peeta's POV**

I lead her up the stairs and into my bedroom, and gently sit her on the edge of my bed, and look her over. "You're a mess, you know?" and I move in closer to her. She's covered in spirits and sweat, and I am quite sure she wont want to sleep in the soiled clothing. I lift the bottom of her shirt, as to remove it from her, and she stops me for a second, questioningly, gives me an approving glance, then lets me continue.

She sits quietly as I carefully remove each particle of clothing, and when she is in nothing but her sweaty underclothes, I stop. "I'll go get you something to sleep in," I tell her, and move to go find a t-shirt and shorts.

"No!" she half cries. "Come back here."

I sit next to her, and wait for her to speak, but she doesn't. Moments go by, and I wonder if she's fallen asleep, but when I look over to her, the expression on her face tells me everything I need to know, that she is inwardly arguing with herself.

I reach over and grab at her hand, and instantly our fingers are intertwined tightly. She turns her head to look at me, and I gently brush my lips against hers. A moments hesitation, and she's dropped her hand from mine, her fingers tangle themselves in my golden locks, and she kisses me with such an intensity I've never known.

She lets me go, and an unexpected disapproving note escapes my lips. Unfortunately, she catches this, and smiles at me, then removes her filthy underclothes and stands in front of me, as if saying she is up for the taking. "I want _you_, and only you, Peeta Mellark." She says.

I stand, and tug her chin towards me, locking our mouths together. Never letting me go, she helps me from my own clothes, and I don't protest. She's finally realized how much I love her, how much she loves me, and I'm glad I'm here to witness it.

As our naked bodies touch, chill bumps rise over my skin. I pick her up, and instinctively her legs wrap around my waste. I kiss her, brush my lips up and down her jaw line, down her neck and to her breasts. Her breath hitches when I touch her more sensitive places. I run my hands through her perfectly smooth hair, trace the contours of her beautiful breasts, knead her round bottom.

I looked up, hoping I haven't overstepped my boundaries and when our eyes meet, and hold each others gaze, we communicate our thoughts without words. I pull her hips back from my body, gripping her bottom in my hands as I slowly enter her, pushing gently but firmly through the warm, wet resistance.

I squeeze my eyes shut and throw my head back, groaning loudly. Now I understand my brothers' fascination with taunting me about my virginity. Clearly they wanted me to experience this intense pleasure for myself.

The heat of her body enveloping mine drives every bit of reason from my mind. No matter how bad an idea I thought this might have been an hour ago, none of it mattered now. I noticed her outlining my facial features and opened my eyes to her smile. I pulled myself from her and set her down. She sat, and pulled me onto the bed with her, scooting backwards until she met the mountain of pillows. I followed her, on my knees now, continually kissing and touching her the whole way.

I laid her down onto the mound of pillows, her hair, damp from sweat, splaying out around her, and caught her gaze, questioning but filled with trust. Her nude body's stretched out before me, open and inviting. Smooth, soft, skin waiting for my touch. She was so perfect, right here, right in this moment. This moment that I never want to forget, I never want to leave.

I looked her up and down, her skin shining from the thin sheen of sweat, and gently pressed my hips upon hers, plunging into her with one long thrust. Two equally pleasured cries fill the room, and I find a steady rhythm that bring beautiful song-like moans from her throat. I revel in the way she rocks her hips against mine. She grips handfuls of my hair in her fists, and brings my mouth down upon hers once more, and I am locked in this blissful dance, enthralled with every sound escaping her lips, and every movement of her body against mine.

She grips my hair harder than ever and presses my head ever harder against her skin, moaning my name and moving her hips upward to meet mine, forcing me farther inside her. She becomes more breathless, her moans quieter, her breath hitching.

I begin to move more inside her, fastening my pace in response to her insistent rhythm, our hearts pounding with adrenaline. The heat around me suddenly begins to intensify as she tightens around my length. She kneads her fingers into my chest, writhes under me as I continue the steady motions.

Without notice, she's clawing my chest as she throws her head back into the pillows. Her hips are more urgent than ever against mine as she pants my name, whispers profanities. My own low moans distract me from the fact that she has drawn blood from clawing my chest, and I am only brought back to the present when her whole body shudders and over and over again, and hoarse screams escape her lips. Hot, even contractions squeeze my body tightly, threatening to push me over the edge. But no, I'm not ready for that yet. I could go on like this for the rest of forever.

Once again, I pull myself from her, and force myself to calm down a bit. I roll over, and lay next to her in the darkness, the only source of light coming through the window from the moon. I take her hand and trace smooth circles on her palm. "I love you" Katniss whispers in my ear before rolling over on top of me. Clearly she isn't ready for a break just yet.

I sigh as she positions her self to straddle my hips, her upper body now lying against mine, her head tucked under my chin. I bend my knees so that she can brace her body against the tops of my thighs, and after a few moments of experimentation, her hand finds me and guides my length into her. Finally we found a perfect, slow, rocking rhythm, and I kiss her hair, softly stroke her back, as we move slowly together. Her eyes close and her lips part ever so slightly, her breaths coming in soft, rhythmic gasps, mirroring our movements exactly.

I was shocked to hear a low growl escape from my mouth as I rolled her over, now laying flat on her back with her head on the pillows. I lowered my body until there were only a few of inches of space between us. I pushed into her with deep, grinding, slow and steady thrusts. I listened to her whimpers of pleasure, matched them with my own harsh gasps, and watched as her body moved up and then back again with each frantic motion.

I began moving inside her, quicker now and more urgently. The darkened room is filled with the frantic hushed sounds of our lovemaking. Breathy whispers, deep throaty moans, soft cries.

The pressure's building in me unbelievably fast, and with an unstoppable intensity. Her lips find mine again, her hands brush the golden locks from my damp forehead. I am kissing her and gasping for air as I continue my frantic rhythm. I'm so close.

I am overwhelmed all at once with a flood of sensations. The tightness of her body. Nails scraping skin. Hot, rhythmic contractions. My name screamed over and over. Flesh hitting flesh.

The world explodes around me as the orgasm rips through me violently. I cry out her name, digging my fingers into the mattress, riding the waves of pleasure that are racing, seemingly endless, throughout my body as I spill into her. Realizing just how loud we are, I burry my face in the pillows to muffle the hoarse, guttural sounds erupting from my throat. Then with one long, intense shudder of my body, it's over.

And then there was nothing but the sound of our labored breathing. Long, silent minutes of nothing but chests rising and falling, air quietly rushing in and out of lungs. Eyes closed. No speaking. No thinking.

I rolled over onto my back and searched in the darkness for her hand. I glanced over at her, and her eyes found mine. We stared into each other's eyes for the longest time, not speaking, occasionally reaching up to push back a lock of hair, stroke a cheek softly with a thumb, graze a lip tenderly with a finger... My body was so relaxed. This must be the "afterglow" my brothers so often spoke of. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the hell out of it. I lay there, my body drifting away, and my mind right along with it. Peaceful. Content. Relaxed.

And then Katniss starts doing what all intoxicated people seem to end up doing. Talk. "Mm." She moans. "I never expected this to happen… I guess I'm kind of glad it did though… Mm…"

I am such an idiot. I just took advantage of a drunk woman. A woman who just so happens to be the love of my life. A woman who hasn't exactly returned my love.

"Peeta?" She whispers.

"Yes?"

"If I wake up in the morning, and don't remember a thing from tonight, could you do me a favor?" she says, yawning.

"Sure," I say uncertainly. "Anything, shoot."

"Lie to me."

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	3. Chapter 3

When I wake up, it is early morning, and the sun hasn't even begun to rise. I'm thoroughly confused as to where I am, but I barely get the chance to think about what happened last night before the white liquor makes its reappearance. I spew over the edge of the bed and it burns just as much coming up as it did going down, and tastes twice as bad. I groan as I roll back over onto the bed, and realize that I am trembling, sweaty, and naked, but at least most of the stuff is out of my system. Though, enough of it got into my bloodstream to result in a pounding headache, parched mouth, and boiling stomach. Wait. _Naked? Why am I naked…?_

As I take inventory of my surroundings, I see Peeta is lying next to me, sound asleep. Well, he looks it, but his breathing tells another story. He is covered in a sheet, (blanket hog), and I hope to god he's wearing something under it. _What did I _do_ last night? _I think. My sore muscles tell me what I hope to be just a bad dream. _I slept with him. Peeta and I-… _I shudder at the thought, and sit up just in time for another vomiting spell to hit, and I just barely miss ruining his soft white sheets with bile.

Peeta stirs, and when I come back up over the edge of the bed once again, I see that he has turned over, and is looking at me. Before I can think, I grope around by my feet and grab the sheet to pull it up to my chin. _Crap, crap, crap! What have I done?_

I don't know what to say to him, and it looks as though he is at a loss for words as well. "Peeta?" I say cautiously. "What _happened_ last night? I don't remember much…" He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb, and smiles.

"What do you want to know? The good or the bad?" He asks.

"Peeta… We didn't, uh, you know… Last night, did we?"

He looks taken aback. Like he cant decide whether to tell me the truth, or a lie. "Well, there was a lot of drinking on your part. But that was before you ended up on my doorstep. And then, well. There was a lot of kissing, and that was mostly me, but you went along with it, seemed to enjoy yourself, even."

"Anything else…?" I whisper.

"Not really, no. I mean, you were covered in vomit and sweat, so I helped you out of your clothes, but nothing more happened."

"Don't lie to me Peeta… Something else _must_ have happened, or else why would I be so sore?"

"That'd be the liquor. Had two bottles all by yourself. I'm surprised you haven't vomited more." He answered.

Peeta always did have a way with words, and even if he is lying to me, I'll never know. "Okay," I sigh, and make to grab the rest of the sheet to wrap around myself so I can go to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"I have to pee…"

"Oh, right… Uhh," he looks around, and comes up short.

"Your not naked too, are you?" The words spill out before I've had time to process them.

"No! Of course not," he stammers. "Just close your eyes for a minute."

I'm thoroughly confused, but I don't question his motives. I close my eyes, and I hear him rise from the bed, and pad across the room. After what seems like forever, he says "Okay. You can open your eyes now," so I do, and he is standing across the room from me, wearing a fresh pair of boxer shorts.

"You _were_ naked!" I exclaim. "I told you not to lie to me Peeta!"

"I didn't lie. You threw up on me halfway through the night, and instead of disturbing your peaceful sleep to get new shorts, I just slipped the soiled ones off. Nothing happened, Katniss. Don't you believe me?"

Instead of arguing the point with him, I just sigh, and he knows he's won. Now all I have to worry about is showering, and finding something to wear. "I'm gross, Peeta. I need a shower. Can I just do that here?"

"Yea, of course. I go make you some breakfast."

"I need something to wear…" I say.

"Easy enough. While you shower, I'll just run over to your house and grab something."

"Alright" I say, getting up, making sure to secure the thin sheet around my nude body, hoping against hope that he wont see me.

I turn on the shower and stand under the warm rain. I pour shampoo on my head, and when I start scrubbing, I notice the stinging in my hands. Stitches, small and even, across one palm and up the side of my other hand. My mother's work for sure. I scrub myself from head to toe with the sweet smelling bubbles, and have to force myself to leave the comfort of the warm water.

I go back to Peeta's room, where I see he has laid out my clothes, which seem to be some of Cinna's beautifully uncomfortable creations. I quickly dress, and realize that fast movements probably wont be the best thing for me today. After I've dressed, I meander down the stairs, toward the smell of the bread, baking in the oven. "Mm. Cheese buns, my favorite." I say, smiling at the scent.

"I know, and I have plenty. Though, I'm not really sure what I can do to help your hangover."

"Oh shut-up. It'll never happen again. Last night was the worst night of my life, and I'll never do anything of the sort again. If I try, please bring me to my senses?"

His gaze drops to the floor, trying to hide his pain from me, though I cant quite figure out why he'd be so upset over my saying I'd never pick up another drink…

Peeta wraps up my cheese buns, and sends me on my way. Clearly I've upset him, but I still cant see how. I give him a quick hug, and a peck on the cheek before walking home. I slowly cross the three yards that separate Peeta's home from my own, and walk inside. No one seems to be awake yet, so I go straight upstairs to my room, and change into some more comfortable clothes.

The footsteps on the stairs renew my panic from last night, and I realize that I am not quite ready to see my mother and Prim. I know that I have to be strong for them, so I straighten up and brace myself for this meeting. They appear in my doorway, holding tea and toast, both their faces full of concern. I open my mouth, hoping to start out with some corny joke, but instead I burst into tears. So much for being the strong one.

My mother sits on the side of my bed, and Prim crawls right up next to me. They both hold me, making soothing sounds trying to calm me, until I am mostly cried out. Then Prim gets a towel and dries my still damp hair, and begins to comb the snarls while my mother tries to coax some tea and toast into me. The tears begin to fall again, and I just lay there, listening to Prim tell me it will all be okay. She isn't the same frail little girl I left behind on reaping day nine months ago, everything she had had to deal with since then have aged her many years. I drift into a somewhat peaceful sleep, and when I wake, I can tell it is late afternoon.

I head downstairs to the kitchen, where I head my mother and Prim talking in hushed voices, and when I walk in, they silently embrace me, but they don't act overly emotional; I know they are holding things together to make things better for me. My mother ladles me a mug of broth, and I ask for one to take over to Haymitch.

When I walk into his house, I see him slumped over the kitchen counter, only just waking up. I offer him the warm broth, and he takes it without hesitation. We sit peacefully for a few minutes, sipping from our mugs, and then I hear someone rustling around upstairs. Must be Hazelle, I think. A few minutes later, however, Peeta descends the stairs carrying a large box. He says he has poured all of Haymitch's liquor down the drain. We argue for a bit, and I realize that I really don't care. I am going back into the games, regardless of whether Haymitch has his spirits or not.

Peeta is insistent that we start acting like Careers. Haymitch and I protest, but after a few days, we give in, tired of listening to Peeta's endless rants about two of us certainly coming home.

Every morning we are out running, throwing knives, climbing trees, and learning combat skills. My mother even puts us on a special diet to gain weight. At first, Peeta and I excel with the new regimen, but after a few weeks, it begins to take its toll on me, and I cant understand why. I've always been fit, and even when I was sick, I never felt as horrid as I do now. Everything is making me nauseas, and I throw up frequently. I insist I'm just nervous about going back in, but I fool no one, (except maybe Peeta.) Haymitch knows something is up.

Its hot and humid one afternoon when we break for lunch. It's been two months since the announcement of the Quell, and I've only gotten worse, and then I get to thinking. Overly sore muscles, vomiting fits, picky eating habits… I start counting. _Oh god, no. _I think. _It can't be._

"Katniss? You okay?" Peeta asks, bringing me out of my stupor.

"Oh, uh." I fumble for words. "Yeah, I just remembered that I promised Prim I would spend some time with her today." I lied. The looks I get from Peeta and Haymitch tell me I've failed, but I don't care. "I have to go." I pull myself from the ground and jog home without a second glance.

Who do I talk to about this? My mother? No. Surely she would kill me if I even had a sneaking suspicion of pregnancy. Prim? Eh, maybe. I'm not sure she could really give me much advice. Haymitch is out. Peeta is _definitely_ out. Crap. Crap, crap, _crap!_

I am completely worn out from the jog home, and I barely make it up the porch stairs. I enter the house and hold a stitch in my side, while I head for the phone in the study. I dial the familiar number, and only hope he will answer.

"Hello?" he says, after only the second ring.

"Cinna! I need to talk to you. Its an emergency. How soon can you come to Twelve?"

"Whoa, Katniss. Slow down. What's the problem?"

"I cant say. Not over the phone anyways. Its something that I need to talk to you about in person. Can you please come?"

"Of course. Anything for you, girl on fire. I'll call you when I find a train going that way." Cinna says.

"Thank you, Cinna. I knew I could count on you. See you soon." I say, and hang up the phone.

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	4. Chapter 4

I jump at Gale's voice, "What was that all about?" He says, opening the door to the study a crack.

"Damn you, Gale! You scared me…" I pant, holding my heart.

He opens the door completely and envelopes me in one of his trademark hugs. "I can see that. So what's so important you talk to _Cinna _about?" He grimaces as he says Cinna's name.

Repulsed, I push myself from his grasp. "Why were you listening to my conversation? That was a private phone call!" I yell.

"I was on my way to your room, your mother said that's where I could find you, but I heard you talking, so I stopped to listen. I came to see if you were alright." He says, a bit taken aback.

"Of course I'm not alright. Do you think you would be alright if you had to go into the games not once, but twice? I didn't think so!"

"Sorry, sorry!" He says, holding his hands up in a calming gesture. "So, you going to tell me what's up, or am I just the confidante from the past?"

"Never you mind. I have secrets too, you know," I answer, shoving my way past him and out into the hall. "And you know it isn't like that."

"Catnip…" He hesitates.

"Stop-it Gale. I don't need it from you too!" I exclaim. "I'm fine, totally and completely fine. I'm going back into the Games, Gale, and lets face it. I'm probably not coming home alive this time. Its probably best we get our goodbye's out of the way now…"

"Katniss, if you think like that, then you'll for sure come home in a box. Think about Prim, your mother. Me. You're coming home. Alive. And I wont have it any other way." He says, and leans toward me, planting his lips squarely on mine, and before I have time to shove him away from me, he's taking off down the hall, and I hear the front door slam as he storms out.

I feel the tears coming on, so I try my best to hide before they can escape my pitiful eyes. Unfortunately for me, the place I decide to hide already has a resident. Prim. She is sitting in a dark corner of our 'formal' living room, and the tears are pouring from her face. She is sobbing, huffing, trying to calm herself down.

"Prim?" My voice is hoarse.

Startled, she looks up to me and immediately sobers up, wiping any remaining tears from her blushing cheeks.

"What's the matter, little duck?" I say, a halfhearted smile across my face.

She just looks at me, mouth gaping open, and then begins to sob again. I half jog over to her corner, then slide down the wall to sit next to her. She lays her head in my lap and begins blubbering indistinguishable words. I stroke her hair, comforting her.

"It's okay, little duck…" is the only thing that comes to mind.

"No, Katniss, it isn't." she says, sitting up. "This is all my fault. If you hadn't volunteered for me last year, then none of this would have happened. I would be dead, and you would be alive, and happy, and you wouldn't be going into the Games again…"

I gasp as her words find meaning in my head. She wishes I hadn't taken her place. She wishes she were dead. "Prim! No!" I say. "I wouldn't be happy. In fact, I would probably be a bigger mess than I am now. I cant stand the thought of losing you, little duck. Don't ever speak like that again." I say, tears now flowing freely.

We sit there, in the corner of the room crying, comforting each other. Calming down long enough to take a look at the other, just to refuel the ever flowing waterfalls. After a while of on-again, off-again tears, we fall asleep on each other, only to be woken by the sound of a ringing telephone. It isn't even light outside yet, who would be calling this early in the morning?

"It's okay, Katniss. It's probably Cinna." Prim says through a yawn, as she sits up from my lap. She's right. I hoist myself from the floor, and run to get the phone.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey, Katniss, I just wanted to let you know that I am on my way. The train is leaving in around two hours" He sounds tired. "I would have called sooner, but I didn't have the time. I was looking over your new designs, thinking about costumes for the Quell. You know."

"No, its fine, Cinna. I'm just glad you could come. We need to discuss my new designs anyway." I say, going along with what I think is his version of a cover story. Clearly he knows my reason for his urgent visit has _nothing_ to do with clothes. I always was a terrible liar.

"Okay, well, I'm going to get some rest. I'll see you in a few days." He says, yawning.

"Alright. Can't wait-" click, and all I hear is an empty dial-tone.

The next few days drift by slowly as I anticipate Cinna's arrival. I try my best to subdue the vomiting fits in front of Peeta and Haymitch, but it doesn't work. They definitely know something's up, and they keep hounding me for answers. Telling me that my mother should have treated me by now.

"I know, I know. I just thought it would go away on it's own is all. I'll talk to her today." I say, trying to calm them down.

"Good, sweetheart. You need to be on you're A-game." I send a scowl his way, which quickly turns into a smile, which he returns.

"I wasn't smiling at you, fool." I say, laughing. "I was smiling at him." I point behind Peeta and Haymitch toward my favorite stylist. Cinna is finally here. I start to run toward him, and instantly find that that isn't such a great idea. When I reach him, he envelopes me in a hug, and we walk off toward my house without so much as a backwards glance.

As we walk up the path to the Victor's Village, I check to make sure no one is around, and I pull Cinna to the side.

"I think I'm pregnant. Well. I don't think, but I am pretty sure. I mean, I've missed two monthlies. And I _never_ miss monthlies…" It all comes out in a rush, and even I'm not sure if I understood a word that came from my mouth.

"Whoa, Katniss. Slow down, start over."

I sigh. "I think I'm… _pregnant._" The last word turning to a whisper.

Its as if all of Panem has gone quiet, he doesn't say a word. You could hear a pin drop here on the cobblestones. Minutes go by in the eerie silence before he speaks.

"Ar-are you sure? How? _When?_"

"Well, I cant think of any other explanation for the lack of monthlies, vomiting, picky eating, crying fits." I sigh, not wanting to tell him about my night with spirits. "On the night of the Quell announcement. I went over to Haymitch's, and well. Lets just say I don't remember much past that. Until I woke up next to Peeta. Naked…" I finish. I keep my gaze toward the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes. I feel like I have shamed myself by telling him this.

"Oh Katniss," he whispers, pulling me into a gentle embrace.

It's reaping day. Even in the early morning light, I can tell today it will be uncomfortably hot. Cinna decided to stay with us until the reaping, saying he would ride back to the capitol with us on the Tribute train. I am restless, and cant sleep, so I quietly dress, and head for Peeta's. Ever since the Quell announcement, Peeta has been… Distant, to say the least. Granted, I haven't been much better about trying to spend time with him. As I walk up the porch stairs, I see that Peeta too, is awake, and banging away in the kitchen. I guess baking really is his escape.

I walk in, not bothering to knock. "Hey," I say. "Couldn't sleep either?"

"You too, huh?" He says.

I shrug, and take a seat at the kitchen table. He hands me a crescent roll, and sits across from me. The reaping isn't until two, and I cant go into the woods today, so Peeta and I sit in his kitchen, quietly enjoying each others presence until we decide its time to wake Haymitch and get him looking presentable.

On the way across the lawn, Peeta finally decides to strike up a conversation. "You going to tell me what's really been going on?" He asks nonchalantly.

Startled by his sudden curiosity, I stop dead in my tracks. "Wh-What?" I stutter, dumbfounded.

"I asked if you were going to tell me what's really been going on with you. You haven't really been the same since the Quell. Well. Neither have I, but its different for you. Like you are afraid to tell me something… _Are_ you afraid to tell me something?" He persists.

"Yes. Yes and no." is the only answer I can muster up before we walk in to Haymitch's house.

I guess Peeta was satisfied with my answer, because he doesn't try bringing up the subject again.

The population of District Twelve waits patiently, silent and sweating in the square. I stand alone in a small roped-off area, Peeta and Haymitch in an identical pen, just to my right. Effie scrapes the bottom of the girls reaping jar, desperately trying to grasp hold of the one slip of paper with my name on it. Haymitch is reaped, and instantly Peeta volunteers. The peacekeepers are ushering us into the Justice building, they're telling us that there are new procedures this year, and then we are shoved unto a car.

There are no reporters at the train station, no crowd to wish us farewell. Effie and Haymitch appear, escorted by guards, help us onto the train, then slam the doors, where I am left to watch my district fade by, all of my unspoken goodbyes, hanging from my lips.

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	5. Chapter 5

I remain at the window long after the woods have swallowed up the last glimpse of my home. This time I don't even have the slightest hope of returning. Id actually figured out what I wanted my last words to my loved ones to be, how best to close and lock the doors and safely leave them behind. And now the capitol has stolen that as well.

"We'll write letters, Katniss," says Peeta from behind me. "It will be better, anyway, give them a piece of us to hold on to. Haymitch will deliver them for us if…they need to be delivered."

I nod and go straight to my room, knowing I'll never write those letters. I'm too heartsick to try, and all I want to do is ball up on my bed and sleep until we arrive at the Capitol. By the time Effie knocks on my door for dinner, I am empty. The meal is subdued, and there are long periods of silence, only relieved by the removal of old dishes and the presentation of new ones. Peeta and Effie make halfhearted attempts at conversation which die out quickly. She's redone her hair to match my pin, and maybe she can get something for Haymitch so we'll look like a team. I don't really listen to their conversation. The only thing I can think now is that I am certainly pregnant. Even the slight motions of the train make me nauseas. I'm pregnant and I am going to die. If I don't, my baby wont have a father. And then I'll want to die.

Everyone is getting up from the table now, so I follow suit. I've barely touched my dinner, which earns me several disapproving looks from Haymitch and Effie. Peeta looks about as blank as I feel. We've ended up in the car with the plush couches, I suppose we watch the recaps of all of the reapings. I try to make mental notes about the tributes, but none of them really stick out to me. Beautiful brother and sister, a handsome bronze haired young man, a hysterical young woman who is quickly replaced by an elderly woman. Another woman who is torn from the clutches of her children, then there's me, and then Haymitch is called, and Peeta volunteers.

Effie says something, but I don't catch a word, then Haymitch excuses himself, and Peeta and I are the only ones left in the room. I didn't notice Peeta had been trying to talk to me until he's waving his hands in front of my face. "Hmmm?" I say.

"Why don't you go get some rest?" He says

_Because I can't handle the nightmares. Not without you, _I think. I'm sure they will be absolutely horrid tonight, but I can hardly ask him to stay with me tonight. We've barely spoken since the morning after the Quell announcement. "What are you going to do?" I ask him.

"Just review my notes for a while," He says. "I want to get a clear picture of what we are up against. But, I'll review them with you in the morning. Get some sleep, Katniss."

So I go to my room and try to sleep. It takes a while to drift off, and when I do, I wish I hadn't. I watch my baby sleep, he's so peaceful. And then Snow is there, and he is taking my baby. Stealing my baby from me. He's saying I don't deserve happiness, not after what I've done to the Capitol, after all the damage I've caused. And then the old woman from District Four is there and she's transformed into a giant rodent, and she is gnawing at something in Snow's arms. Wait, he's feeding my baby to her!

I wake with a scream, having seen the face of my unborn child torn to shred's, the sound of his agonized cry's burned into my soul. _That will never happen, calm down Katniss, it was just a dream._ I tell myself. But I cant calm down. It all seemed so real. Snow really would try to get to me through my child. That's how evil he is.

I screams echo in my ears, but no one comes to see if I am alright. Not even Peeta. I pull on a robe to try and calm the chill bumps that have risen up all over my skin. Staying in this compartment is impossible, so I decide to go and find someone who will make me some tea, or hot chocolate. Anything to sooth these wounds into submission.

I find a Capitol attendant roaming the halls, and ask for some warm milk. I hear voices from the television room, so I go in and find Peeta sitting on one of the couches, scribbling away on his note pad. He's watching the Victor's tapes Effie got for him. He notice's my entrance, and immediately rises and switches the television off.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Not for long," I say, pulling my robe more securely around my waist as I remember the rodent woman chewing away at my baby.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks. I know that talking sometimes helps, but I don't think it would really be the right way for him to find out about my 'condition,' so I shake my head no.

Peeta hold out his arms, and I instantly walk into his warm embrace. It's the first time since the announcement that I can remember him offering me any sort of affection. And suddenly I realize how much I've missed it. Instinctively, I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, and he pulls me close, burying his face in my hair. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck and it feels so impossibly good that I know I wont be the first to pull away.

_Why should I?_ I ask myself. I've said goodbye to Gale, I'll never see him again, and I know that's for certain. And even if there were the slightest chance that I could, what would he say about my child? The product of a one night stand, when I was drunk and unforgiving?

He moves his lips up and down my neck, caressing my face with his palms. A soft kiss for my lips, moans escaping with each breath. Something stirs within me, telling me I should quit this, but at the same time, telling me to continue. Though, I don't get the chance. The arrival of the Capitol attendant breaks us apart. He sets the jug of warm milk on the table with two mugs. "I brought an extra cup," he says.

"Thanks," I say

"And I added a bit of honey, for sweetness, and just a touch of spice," he adds, looking as if he could say more, but just gives his head a slight shake, and backs from the room.

I look at Peeta for a behavioral explanation.

"I think he feels bad for us. You know, star-crossed lovers from District Twelve. We were the best Victors yet, and now the Capitol will make sure at least one of us dies."

"Right," I say, pouring the warm milk into each of our mugs.

"I mean it," he says. "They get attached to their champions."

I don't really care all that much. I give him a shake of my head, signifying my understanding, and I sip from my mug. I'm looking at Peeta with such an intensity, that even I don't understand, and at first, he seems confused by the looks I shoot at him, and then I think it finally clicks when he takes my mug from me, and gently sets it on the table next to his.

He is reaching for me, and I am reaching for him. We are enveloped in each other, and I never want it to end. Something stirs in me again, and this time I realize it isn't emotion. Its my baby, our baby, and he's kicking my insides. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but strangely addictive. When he stops, I find I am wanting more. I realize that I've left Peeta for another world, and he just sits next to me, watching me revel in my own bliss.

I'm brought back into awareness when he strokes my cheek and says, "What's so great it's got you ignoring my kisses? One minute you thirst for them, and another your staring off into space, a smile dancing on your lips?"

All I can do is look at him. If only he knew. Oh, how I wish I could tell him, but that would just make him go crazy over my protection, and that is really the last thing I want right now. "Oh, its nothing," I say, a slight smile still happily displayed across my features. "So, you're watching all of the tapes again?" I say, hoping to change the direction of our conversation.

"Yea," he says, obviously still confused by my actions.

"Who's next?" I ask.

"You pick," he says, holding the box out to me.

I dig around through the contents and come up with the one tape we haven't watched.

The year is Fifty, and the victor is Haymitch Abernathy.

He playfully snatches the tape from my hand, and puts it in the player, the quickly retreats back to me. I snuggle up close to Peeta, and he wraps his arms around me. I cant believe how incredibly much I have missed his touch. We sit in silence, watching Haymitch's younger counterpart being reaped, strolling through the streets of the Capitol during the tribute parade. We laugh at his witty responses to a younger Caesar Flickerman's interview, and we watch intently as he rises from under the arena, the gong sounds, and he has been to the Cornucopia and is taking off into the woods while his opponents stare, taking in the sheer beauty of the place.

I don't hear Haymitch's entrance, but when he speaks, I am overwhelmed with fear. Will he be mad at us for watching his Games? I whip around and see him smirking there, in the doorway. So caught up in my thoughts, I'd missed their musings. "Hmm?" I say.

"Oh, we were just saying how his stunt with the force field is almost like ours with the berries," Peeta clarifies.

"Almost, but not quite," Haymitch counters, as he takes a swig from his bottle. So much for sobriety. I guess I should care more, but I really don't. I've been caught up with other feelings. A new confidence is building inside me, because I think I might have finally gotten a hold on who Haymitch really is. We are part of a team, and surely, two people who have caused the Capitol so much trouble could find a way to bring Peeta home alive. With or without the girl he loves, and his secret unborn child.

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Hate me yet? Well. Leave me a review, and I'll try to read them all! Chapter's 6 and 7 are very much in the works(:


	6. Chapter 6

**Guys, I'm so sorry it took so long! I wanted something interesting to happen in this chapter, and I kept getting writers block. I didn't want it to be just a boring filler. So, I hope the wait was worth while. Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!**

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When I wake the next morning, it's still early. The sun is barely on the horizon when I find myself wrapped in Peeta's arms. He stirs at my harsh movement, and I suddenly still myself, not wanting to interrupt the rare dreamless sleep he seems so enveloped in. I just lay there, letting the moment seep through me, enjoying every bit of it. Unfortunately, My bladder seems to think that moments like this aren't very imported, so I lift myself away from Peeta, only to be brought back down to him. "Leaving so soon?"

I have to give him credit. He does have a way with words. "Of course not," I smile, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Just going to the bathroom."

He lets me up, and soon I am back with him. I don't want to leave his side ever again. Though, much to my dismay, I have to, as we have finally arrived in the Capitol, and we have to be prepped for the opening ceremonies.

Having been prepped by my oblivious team numerous times, it should really just be an old routine to survive it. I hadn't anticipated the emotional ordeal though. At some point during my prep, each of them burst into tears at least twice, and I can barely keep myself from joining them.

It turns out my prep team really has become attached to me, and the thought of me returning to the arena has unhinged them. I find myself in the position of having to be the one to comfort them, and considering I am the one headed for slaughter, it is somewhat annoying, and I find myself wanting to knock their heads together.

By the time Cinna arrives, I am way over irritable and exhausted. I'm on a rampage, in my head of course. God forbid the capitol's precious tribute's feel any emotion at their own foreseeable death. I stand in the middle of the room, my thin robe wrapped tightly around my body, with my stinging skin and heart, I know I cant bear even one more look of regret. Before he's even entered the room completely I yell, "I swear if you cry, I'll kill you here and now," and I am balling like a baby. Stupid hormones.

"Had a damp morning?" He asks, his attempt at playful sarcasm barely reaching me.

"Shut-up," I say, huffing.

"I'll talk to them," He says, giving my shoulder a reassuring rub. "I brought something for you."

"You didn't have to bring me anything, Cinna. Your presence alone makes my day better." I say, wiping the remaining tears from my face, and take him into a hug.

"Well, I just thought you'd like to be absolutely sure. About… You know." Understanding spreads across my face as he holds out a small package. A capitol pregnancy test.

"How do these work?" I ask. Of course I want to know for sure. That thing I felt on the train could very well have just been an upset stomach, and I could just be growing old sooner than I should. Stranger things have happened.

"Uh, there are instructions there, on the back, see?" He says.

"Oh, okay. I see them now. Be back in a minute," I say, and rush off to the bathroom.

I fumble with the little box, hurrying to open it. In some ways, I hope to higher powers that I'm not pregnant. That's one less mouth I have to worry about feeding if I actually end up coming home, and in a way, I also hope I am, because I think I have finally convinced myself that I _do_ love Peeta, that I _do_ deserve him.

"Submerge tip in urine for twenty seconds, wait three minutes for results. One line on the display screen means negative result. Two lines means positive result, congratulations! You're pregnant!" I quickly read to myself.

_Yay, _I think sarcastically. _I'm not sure being pregnant is something to congratulate in my position._

Trying to pee when you don't actually have to is a difficult feat, and I end up sitting there for five minutes before even a little trickle will come. Thinking fast, I grab a mouthwash cup from the counter, and fill it with the little urine that will come, then submerge the stick and wait. Twenty seconds pass, and I replace the cap, and nervously set the test stick on the counter and retreat to the prep room.

We sit in silence, drumming our fingers against the table, waiting as the time tick's slowly by. When I am done waiting, hoping at least three minutes have passed, I rise and return to the bathroom, pick up the stick without looking at it, then go back to the prep room and hand it to Cinna. "You read it," I say, turning away. "One line, or two?"

Cautiously, he takes the test from my hand, then looks at the screen. "Two," he sighs. "Is that good or bad?"

"Crap, its crap. I mean's there is definitely a little human-ish thing in there," I sputter, pointing to my belly.

"Okay. Well. We can work with that. I mean, we'll get you some vitamins, a doctor-"

"Cinna, it wont matter. I'm going back into the arena, and there's no way around it. Pregnant or not, the Capitol still has to have their Games…" My heart drops. I am carrying Peeta's baby. A baby he will never get to meet. A baby that will never see the outside of me. "So, changing the subject, what will we be wearing for the opening ceremonies? Headlamps or fire?"

"Something along those lines," he says as our lunch arrives.

The arrival of fresh food instantly brightens my mood, and our conversation ceases. There's pheasant with a selection of jewel-colored jellies, and tiny versions of real vegetables swimming in a butter sauce, and potatoes mashed with garlic and parsley. For dessert we dip we dip chunks of fruit into a pot of melted chocolate, and Cinna end's up having to order another pot, due to the fact that I've just gone at the first one with a spoon it's so good.

To soon I have to be readied for the parade, and Cinna does me up wonderfully. He shows off his new braiding skill, the one my mother taught him, and covers my face with dark shadows and deep purple lips. I'm in a black jumpsuit, with a heavy metal crown atop my head. He pushes a button on the inside of my wrist, and I slowly come to life. I look as if I am a glowing ember, taken straight from the fireplace.

Then he is telling me that I need to do away with the kisses and waves from last year. I must look like I am bored, like I don't even care that I am about to die. Cinna leaves me for some other duties he must attend, and I escort myself down to the bottom floor of the remake center. Peeta and Haymitch haven't arrived yet, so I sit on what I suppose is the District Twelve chariot, hoping to get some time alone.

Mere minutes have passed when none other than the half naked Finnick Odair arrives, and he is close to me, asking if I'd like a sugar cube. I wave him off, and rise, hoping to find another safe haven, and he's following me, trying to keep the conversation going, asking me why I've done away with all of my girlish get-ups, telling me that I would have done well in the Capitol. I'm not really paying attention to him though. My mind is elsewhere.

I little flutter of movement in my abdomen takes me away from the world. This poor baby. Maybe by some insane chance, it's life will be spared. "What did Finnick want?" I am startled by Peeta's sudden appearance, and he sees the frustrastion on my face. "Sorry," he says, holding up his hands in a calming motion.

"Oh! No, I don't remember. Uhm. I think he asked If I wanted a sugar cube?"

"Are you okay?" He asks, feeling my forehead. "You're not sick are you?"

I playfully slap his hand away. "No! Of course not." I say, kissing him full on the mouth, pulling away only seconds later; I forgot about all the make-up.

The parade is beginning, so Peeta carefully helps me onto the chariot. "Holding hands this time?" I ask.

"I think they've left it up to us this go round," he answers, and our hands find each other without question. I do as I am instructed, and stare into space, thoughts wandering. I catch an occasional glimpse of us on screen, and see just how spectacular we look. Another kick, and I am back in dream land. I wish I could tell Peeta. I wish he could marvel in these feelings with me.

The chariot ride is over, and I cant believe I've missed the entire thing. Peeta is dragging me from the chariot when I realize I am just smiling stupidly at nothing in particular. "What is _with_ you today? You never smile like that, not even for me."

"Hmm?" I am completely oblivious to the outside world.

"Never mind, you two. You guys were spectacular, show stopping." Cinna says, and ushers us toward the elevators. He doesn't get in with us, and we end up riding with Johanna Mason, Chaff, and Seeder, and before we've even gone up a whole floor, Chaff has wrapped his arm around me, giving me a big wet kiss, and Johanna has stripped down, standing in the elevator stark naked.

"Ugh," she gripes. "I wish I'd gotten Cinna, you two look marvelous. Seven's stylist has been dressing us as trees for forty years." Is she trying to chat me up? Who knows. I wave her off like no big deal and she just huffs, then tries talking to Peeta. The whole way up she's just standing there like there is nothing wrong with being naked and chatting up someone's fiancé. I mean, really. Obviously he's taken. Why are you even trying?

We finally reach the seventh floor, where Johanna reluctantly leaves us, and I sigh loudly. A quiet ride up to the eleventh floor, and we are left alone as the doors close behind Chaff and Seeder. Two seconds pass, and Peeta is barely even attempting to control his fit of laughter. "What?" I say, alarmed at his manner.

"It's you Katniss, cant you see?" he says.

"What's me?" I ask, confused.

"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick and the sugar, Chaff's kiss, Johanna stripping down. They're just playing with you. You know, because your so… pure." He says, unsuccessfully trying to keep a serious tone.

"I am not!" I protest. "Practically every time there's a camera around, I've been ripping your clothes off!"

"Well, for the Capitol, you're pure." He says, seemingly trying to soften me up. "But for me, you're perfect. I like you just like this. Well, not this kind of mood, but when you are just _you._ that's when you are perfect."

"Shut-up!" I say, slapping him a good one in the ribs. "They're just laughing at me, and so are you!" I say, feeling the tears form, readying themselves to fall from my now fearless eyes. Really, these hormones have _got_ to go. Peeta gets a good look at me, and suddenly finds I'm not having a laugh at my own expense, and takes me into a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry," He whispers into my hair. "I knew you weren't okay. Tell me what it is." He insists, pulling me away from him. The elevator doors open, and I wipe the un-fallen tears from my eyes. Haymitch and Effie are just coming from the other set of doors looking pleased, and then Haymitch's face grows hard.

_Oh god. He must see the tear streaks. Ugh._ I think, but then I notice he isn't staring at me or Peeta. He's looking just past us, and then I hear Effie say, "Oh, it seems they've brought us a matched pair this year."

I turn and see the redheaded Avox girl, and beside her stands another redheaded man. That must be what Effie meant about matched pair. A chill runs through me as recognition sets in, and I am vomiting all over the floor, unable to staunch the flow of bile from my stomach. I know him. Not from sneaking glances at random passers by, but from years of easy conversation in the Hob, joking over Greasy-Sae's concoctions.

Our new Avox is Darius.


	7. Chapter 7

Peeta just stands there, holding my hair back as I dry-heave onto the carpet. God I wish Cinna was here. At least then he could go and get something for me, anything to make this stop.

"Katniss?" He says cautiously.

I grunt, and he just rubs my back, and for a minute, we all just stand there, staring at the mess I've made of our floor. Peeta bends down to knock my feet from under me, and scoops me up, carrying me down the hallway. I'm crying again, and he doesn't say a word, just comforts me in anyway he can. He kisses my forehead, strokes my hair, and then we are in my old room, and he's set me down on the bed.

"Katniss, what ever it is, you can tell me. I'm sure its not that bad," he says reassuringly, as he too sits, and places my head in his lap.

"N-no, Peeta. I c-cant." I hiccup, fresh tears staining my face.

"What if I guess? Will you tell me then?" I have to think about that. Surely he wouldn't guess I'm pregnant? He's _sure_ I believed the lies he told me after the announcement. _Isn't he?_

I guess he took my silence for a yes, and the game of twenty-questions has begun. "Does it have anything to do with Gale? Do you think you'll never see him again?" Those words coming from Peeta's mouth burn. It's like he thinks I could really care less about him. Its like he thinks our whole relationship is a ruse. Its all I can do not to hit him, but I just shake my head no.

"Prim, your mother?" He asks, and once again, I shake my head. I don't want to play this game. I just want to lay here, wrapped in his comforting arms, not a worry in the world.

"Pe-peeta?" I huff, lifting my head to look into those magnificent blue eyes. "Why does it matter? Why do you have to know?"

"Because, Katniss. I cant stand to see you in this much pain. You're crying all the time, getting sick everywhere. Is it nerves? Do you think you're going to be one to die in that arena? Because I wont let that happen. I wont ever. Katniss, you have nothing to worry about. You're going home to your family."

His words bring fresh tears, and I am at a loss for words. I flop over on the bed, burrowing my face in the pillows, only to have Peeta lay next to me, encasing me in his firm, yet gentle grasp. "If you don't want me to know," He says. "Then I'll stop badgering you. I'll just be here. Waiting with open arms, you know. For when things get tough. You can count on me." He kisses my hair, and we lay in silence, our suits slowly dieing out, and I drift into a simple sleep.

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When I wake, I feel as if I've slept for hours and hours, when in reality, its only been about forty minutes. I've completely cried myself out, and when I bring my head up to look for Peeta, I am embarrassed by my actions. All he does is look at me, and brush the hair form my face. "Feel better?" He says, and plucks a quick kiss on my lips. "Lets just eat dinner in here. Its not like Effie and Haymitch cant survive one meal together without us."

I nod in agreement, and then there's Effie, knocking away at my door. Peeta gets up to answer it. "She's not feeling well. I don't think she really needs to be around everyone in this state…" He says.

"What about the recap?" Effie retorts.

"Maybe I can coax her out long enough for it. Give us a knock when its time." He turns to me as Effie leaves, "I'm going to go change really quick. Think you'll be okay for a few minutes?"

I nod my head, unable to move the simple words from my throat, and he's gone. Then I slump back over onto the pillows, and feel a movement in my belly. My hand automatically moves to hold my stomach, and for a moment, I'm utterly enraged at myself. _How could I have let this happen? What happened to not wanting kids? No. No, no, NO! _I'm beating myself up on the inside. This is all my fault, and I catch myself banging my head into the pillows.

"Katniss?" I didn't even hear the door open, but Peeta is back, and staring at me like I'm a mad woman. _Well, I am…._

I take a deep breath and exhale, trying my best to be as calm as possible. "I know I've been crazy for the last few weeks. I…I want you to know so bad, but I just, I don't think it would be all that good, for you to know I mean. You know, with the Games and all… Everything would be so different if we didn't have to go back in. Even if we were just mentors, it would be _so_ much easier."

He just stands there, thinking about my words, not speaking. A few minutes pass, then he moves over to the little microphone and orders us a feast for dinner. I force myself from the bed, and go to the bathroom, where I wash the purple and black shadows from my face, remove my now dead suit, and fold it neatly. My Capitol issued clothes are in the other room, so I reluctantly move back into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel, un-wanting to redress in the suit just to grab a t-shirt and pants.

I am greeted by a very surprised look on Peeta's face. Well, this really shouldn't come as much of a shock to him. I mean, he's seen me naked before, right? Or else how would I be in this predicament?

"What?" I ask, returning his stares with a playful smile.

"You've never let me see you in… that amount… of clothing." he stammers.

"Well, we are getting married soon, aren't we?" I say, suddenly a sensation in me burns deep, and I find myself wanting him. Before I know it, I've dropped the towel to the floor, and I'm walking over to him.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" he says alarmed.

I don't answer, instead, I plop onto his lap, straddling him, and send my forefinger up and down his jaw line.

"Katniss…I-"

"Shhh." I say, cutting him off as I place my mouth on his. He resists for mere moments before he's given in to temptation.

Our mouths are engaged in a blissful dance, and before I know it, I'm completely overcome with my need for him. I kiss him more fiercely, running my hands through his hair, moving them to his shirt, carefully opening the buttons. Peeta senses my urgency, and unwillingly pulls himself away.

"Not tonight," he says, catching his breath, holding my shoulders.

I just stare at him, the rapidness of my breathing depleting. "W-why not?"

"Because, Katniss. I wouldn't feel right…" He says, looking into my eyes. I turn my gaze downward, not wanting him to see the anger, the hurt in my eyes.

_It wouldn't feel right? I've clearly just given him my consent, and he says it wouldn't _feelright? I want to hit him in the head, but I restrain myself, and instead, I lift myself from him, and walk to the closet. I find and dress in a simple shirt, and cotton pants, then walk back into the bedroom, where our feast awaits us.

We eat in silence, catching each other's glance every now and again, and then there's a soft knock on the door, and its time to go watch the recap of the Tribute Parade.

I wedge myself in between Haymitch and Cinna, not wanting to be next to Peeta. It might not _feel right._ I grimace at the thought, then become absorbed in the precession to the City Circle. The other stylists have tried to have their way with fire, not wanting to be outshone by Cinna and Portia. Their costumes look grotesque, and the elder Victors look rather hideous in some of the costumes. Once again, Peeta and I have outshined them all, we are young and magnificent, dressed as glowing embers.

As soon as the recap is finished, I stand, thanking Cinna and Portia for their amazing work, then head off to bed. Peeta is right on my heals, and I hear Effie faintly calling a reminder to meet early for breakfast so we can work out our training strategy. I don't have time to slam the door in Peeta's face, so I just decide he might as well stay with me tonight. At least I wont have nightmares.

I climb into bed, Peeta quietly following. I don't speak, letting him wrap his arms around me. I feel a little kick and hope to god he couldn't feel it too. I lift my head, and look back at him. He just stares at me, confused. "What?" he says.

"N-nothing." I say, laying my head back down, and snuggling in for the night.

XXXXXXXXX

Its early morning when I wake, finding that I am completely drenched with sweat. _Maybe I just had bad dreams, and I cant remember having them?_ I find my way into the bathroom, strip off the sweaty clothes, and take a shower. The water has a cooling relief, and when I've finished, I fall back into bed wearing nothing but a towel, and somehow find sleep again.

Peeta is shaking me, and I don't know why. I slap his arms away, and grunt rolling over. "Katniss, we have to go to breakfast." He says.

"I don't want to," I moan into the pillows. "Cant I just stay in bed all day?" I say, lifting my head long enough to find his gaze.

"I'd love to, but you know Effie and Haymitch wont have it," He sighs, pulling at my limp arm. "By the way, I was wondering. Why are you naked again?" He smiles.

"I woke up early, and I was all sweaty. So I took a shower, mister twenty-questions," I grunt, pulling myself into the sitting position. "Why, does my nakedness…_bother_ you?" I say playfully.

"Not in the least," he counters, smiling. He pulls me off the bed into his arms, and we just stand there, enjoying one another. "I'm sorry about last night." he whispers in my ear.

"It's fine," I say, leaning in for a kiss, which he doesn't protest.

Minutes pass as we stay connected, only to be interrupted by a harsh knock at the door. Haymitch is ordering us to the dining room, so I let myself out of his embrace, and find the clothes Cinna has left me for training. We leave my room hand-in-hand, and enter the dining room, Haymitch looking furious.

"You're late." He snarls, looking at the pair of us. "You've got two jobs today," He says, giving us a stern look. "Stay in love, and make some friends."

I don't bother fighting with Haymitch, because I'm more than sure I'll lose. Breakfast is quiet, and when we've eaten our fill, Effie escorts us to the elevator and sends us on our way.

Training drones by. I keep myself busy, as does Peeta. Watching the other Victors, seeding out the ones we want as allies. I work with knots, building fires, and when I get bored, I practice shooting. The victors seem to like that enough that almost all of them have put in formal requests to be my ally.

The final day of training is upon us, and its time for the private sessions. I still have no clue what to show the Gamemakers, and it seems Peeta doesn't either. We wait hand-in-hand silently as each tribute is called for their session, debating internally what they may do. Finally Peeta is called, and I am all alone.

I suppose the baby senses my loneliness, and kicks as a way of telling me its there. I hold my stomach, reveling in the pure miracle of the little one's being. _I cant believe you'll never know the outside world… _I think, and it kicks again.

Finally I'm called, and when I walk in, the smell of ammonia is strong, and I almost puke everywhere. Thankfully, in the past few weeks, I've somewhat learned to control my vomiting fits, and I don't spew everywhere. I cover my mouth, and walk farther into the room, still trying to decide what I should do. The morphlings have clearly been at the camouflage station, the paints are all a mess. I catch sight of the knot tying station, and inspiration hits me. I really want to piss of the Gamemakers, right? I think I've found the perfect way.

I grab a length of robe, and try my best at a noose, hang it from one of the bars in the middle of the large room, then retrieve one of the target dummies, and hang it. When I see that the dummy is secure, I race to the camouflage station, feeling that my time is nearly up, and grab a blood red, and a brownish color, then set to work.

Not wanting the Gamemakers to miss who I was trying to portray, I pain his trademark beard, and right his name across the dummy's chest. I want them to know that I havent missed a beat, and I'm still going to be who I am. The Games will never change me.

I've just hung Seneca Crane, and as if in agreement with my thoughts, the baby gives me one swift kick, harder than any ever before.

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**I know this took forever. A lot has been going on in my life recently, but just know that I haven't forgotten about you lovely readers, and I will not be leaving this Fanfiction to die. Please leave me a review, and keep watch for the next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

"You did _what?_"Effie asks, alarmed.

"I hung Seneca Crane," I say, already tired of this conversation. It's been a long day, and all I want to do is sleep. I yawn, as if to prove myself, but Effie doesn't budge. "What did you do, Peeta? It must have been dreadful, it was almost an hour before I was allowed in." Effie tisks as I change the subject away from myself, but doesn't bother to steer it back.

"I used the dyes, like you said. But, I didn't really do camouflage."

"You painted?" I ask.

"Yes," He says. "I painted a picture of Rue. How she would have looked after you covered her in flowers. I wanted to hold the Capitol accountable, for killing that little girl, even if no one else could see it."

"That kind of thinking just isn't allowed Peeta. That wont do!" Effie exclaims. "Its almost as if you two planned this whole thing!"

"We didn't, actually. Just a coincidence." Peeta says, smiling at me.

"I actually agree with Effie on this one, but we'll see. When they do the scores tonight." Haymitch sighs. This is really the first time he's ever been somewhat upset with something I've done. Cinna and Portia remain serious, but don't say anything.

"And, Haymitch? We've decided that we don't want any allies in the arena." Peeta says.

"Good. Then I wont be responsible for you idiots killing off my friends with your stupidity." _Ouch. He really must be angry._

The rest of dinner is eaten in silence, and when we've all finished, we head to the TV room to get our scores. Cinna wraps his arms around me. "Lets go get those training scores," he says as we gather around the television, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

A puffy-eyed Effie joins us just as the first set of tributes appear on the screen. They go through the districts, one by one, flashing scores underneath the tributes pictures. Cashmere, Gloss, Brutus, Enobaria, and Finnick have earned high scores, low to medium for the rest.

"Has anyone ever scored a zero?" I ask

"No, but there is a first time for everything…" Cinna replies.

And it turns out he's right, because Peeta and I both pull a twelve. I'm jumping for joy in my head, but no one else seems to feel like celebrating.

"Why'd they do that?" I ask.

"Because they want everyone to see you as targets." Says Haymitch. "No go to bed. I cant stand to look at either one of you." He says, shaking his head in disgust. A pit in my stomach opens, and I feel horrible for what I've done. I bow my head as Peeta takes my hand, walking me to my room.

When we reach my door, I reach over and wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry if I made things worse," I say, the pit growing deeper.

"No worse than I did." he whispers into my hair. "Why did you do it, anyway?"

"I don't know. To show them that I'm not just another piece in their Games?" I say, and he laughs, no doubt remembering the night on the roof this time last year. "So. What should we do with our last few days?" I say.

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," he replies.

"Come on then," I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him into my room.

We lay there, just staring into each others eyes, trying to read the pain, the worry etched across our features. Every now and then Peeta will brush a stray hair from my face, trace the line of my jaw. I lean closer into the embrace, wanting to be as close as possible.

Peeta brings my face closer to his, kissing me gently. When I don't protest, he urges on, exploring my mouth with his tongue. Just as things start to get heated, I pull away from him. "Wha-" he gasps, saddened by my sudden exit.

"I…I thought you didn't want…?" I sit up, looking at him through the darkness.

"Of course I want you. What would make you think I don't?" He says, trying to reassure me.

"I…I don't know. I'm so confused." I shake my head, running my hand through my hair. "I think I'll just go take a shower." I say, and get up, heading for the bathroom. Before I can shut the door, Peeta is there.

"I know you know." He says.

"I know what?"

"What happened the night of the announcement…"

"I…I don't know what you mean," I say nervously.

"Katniss, you've never been good at lying. We both know that." He sighs.

"You caught me." I say, as he brings me into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" He says, pulling me away to look me in the eye.

"For telling you to lie to me. I shouldn't have told you to do that. I can see that it hurt you…" My gaze falls to the floor, and only a second later Peeta's hooked his finger under my chin, bringing my eyes to his. "Peeta…" I sigh, and he plants his mouth on mine, gentle but firm. I cave, and we stand in the bathroom, hands tangling with hair, tongues dancing.

My breath has quickened, my heart is pounding. I cup his cheek, and pull away panting. "Peeta, I feel gross. I need a shower…"

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, turning towards the door.

"No, of course I want you to stay!" I exclaim, grabbing his sleeve, pulling him back to me. " But… Could you maybe, turn around until I'm in the tub?"

He plants a soft kiss on my lips, "I would have anyway, I know how you value your modesty," he says chuckling slightly. He bends down and turns the water on for me, pushing all the right buttons and levers, and soon, a delicious smell is filling the air, and a little nudge from within tells me this is good.

I quickly undress, and on my way over to the tub, I catch sight of myself in the mirror. _Crap. I'm showing! How long has it been?_ I count in my head, trying to remember where the days have gone as my hands rest over my slightly protruding belly. I'm just over the halfway mark. Of course I'd be showing.

"Everything alright?" Peeta asks, restraining himself from looking in my direction.

"Yea," I manage, and he senses the panic in my voice.

"Katniss? What is it? Are you okay?" He's worried now. _Crap, crap, crapppp._

"Yup, totally fine," I say, gulping, and I hurriedly get in the bath before he gets the chance to notice anything more.

"Can I turn around now?"

"Yes," I sigh, relaxing into the bubbles, and he turns grabbing a chair from the vanity, and sits next to me, clasping my hand in his. And then this feeling is overwhelming me, this need that I cant quite pin-point, and Peeta is looking exceptionally ravishing tonight. "Cinna's design?" I ask.

"Hmm?" he says

"What your wearing, I like it. A lot. Did Cinna design it?" I say, biting my lip.

"Oh, uh. I'm not sure. Its just what was laid out for me today… Y-you like it?" He's confused, I can see it all across his features.

I nod approvingly, looking him up and down. "I know somewhere they'd look better, though,"

Peeta looks at me, startled and slightly aggravated.

"And, I seem to have a surplus of bubbles here. I'm not sure if I can use them all… I'd hate for them to go to waste…" I say, lifting my free hand from the water, blowing the bubbles on Peeta.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You got me wet!"

"No I didn't!" I say, a hint of a smile playing at my lips. And then it hits me. I plunge my free hand back into the water, then suddenly bring it back above, showering him with the floral scented water.

"Your going to pay for that one, Mrs. Everdeen!" He smiles, and a giggle escapes me, and it feels good. Its been so long since I've had reason to laugh, to be carefree.

Peeta begins to strip off his clothes, first his jacket, and then his shirt. Before he can remove anything else, I quickly pull him into the tub with me, sloshing water and bubbles all across the bathroom floor.

He laughs, I laugh. A few minutes pass as we calm a bit. "So, about those bubbles?"

He just smiles. "As good as gone," He says, raising his brows. I laugh, and lean forward, taking hold of his drenched torso, forcing him closer to me.

"Just the answer I was hoping for," I say, bringing his face to mine, kissing him full on.

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**I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. I pretty much hated the first half of this chapter, and because it was just so mind-bogglingly boring, it made it that much harder to write. And now you faithful readers have waited a few weeks, and what do I do? I LEAVE YOU WITH A **_**HORRIBLE**_** CLIFF-HANGER. And for that, I am sorry. But, I **_**promise**_** the next two chapters will make up for it completely!**

**I want to give a special thanks to my very good friend/beta (mage-luna) for giving me so much helpful advice and ideas for this chapter, and a few previous. (I would be forever grateful if you would check out her **_**FANNIE**_** fic called **_**Ocean Tide**_**)**

**DON'T FORGET to leave me a review? PLEASE AND THANKS!**


	9. Chapter 9

My hands entangle themselves in his sodden hair, my mouth firmly attached to his. I move forward in the water, hoping to get a closer hold on Peeta when I realize he is still wearing his jeans, and a pout escapes my lips.

"What, did I do something wrong?" Peeta asks discouraged.

"What?" I pant. "No! Of course not. Its just…" I grunt. "These stupid…pants!" I say, fumbling with his belt.

Peeta laughs, and places his hands beneath the water, easily unhinging the belt. He stands up and tries to shimmy out of his pants, but it doesn't work. The water has plastered them to him. "Help me?" He winks.

After a lot of laughter, pulling, splashing and falling over, his pants and undershorts lay on the floor of the bathroom, and I lay on top of him in the bubbly water.

No words are needed in our moment. We just lay there, entangled in one another, enjoying the welcomed presence of the other. _So _this_ is what total relaxation feels like…_

Peeta brings me back from oblivion by swiping the loose strands of hair from my face. Catching his eye, I see the burning desire, and I bring my face to his, kissing him softly. There's a soft nudging in my abdomen, and I urge Peeta on, hoping to forget about my unforeseen predicament for the time being.

Our kisses grow deeper, more needy, and I can feel him throbbing beneath me. I pull away from him with a moments hesitation. _Do I really want to do this? Well… Its not like anything else bad can come from this…_

"What are you thinking?" Peeta whispers.

"Huh?" I gasp, remembering his rock hard length sitting below me. "Oh, uh. Nothing…"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks, giving me his trademark I-wont-be-mad-if-you-say-no look.

"Absolutely," I say, hurriedly bringing my mouth back down on his. My hands grip clumps of his tangled locks, his hands exploring my back.

What feels like only minutes of exploration, Peeta pulls away from me, almost instantly regretting it as he watches my face fall. I look at him questioningly, and he sighs, blushing.

"I don't want to do this in a bathtub…" he says, trying to hide his face.

He watches comprehension cross my face, the grabs me around the middle, hugging me to him. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck, and my legs around his abdomen. It feels almost too good being this close to Peeta. Our skin touching is like silken fire, the delicious warmth of freshly baked bread.

After he's figured out how to get out of the bath while still keeping a gentle but firm grasp on me, he carries me back into the bedroom and sets me on the bed. He leans over me seductively, almost as if he were hunting me, stalking the prey just before the kill. I scoot back on the bed slowly, playing along with the hunt. Once adjusted comfortably, Peeta is kissing me and I am kissing him and I don't know who is sighing, or where those strange noises are coming from.

I tip my head back, exposing my still damp neck to him. Entwining his hands in mine, he leans even farther forward, soft tickles of breath sending gooseflesh across my neck and chest. His lips and tongue gently play against my throat, slowly kissing left and right, up and down, all along my neck. I whimper, pressing myself against him until I can't take anymore and dip my head down. I look into Peeta's eyes and feel the intensity emanating from him. "I want you," I whisper.

He kisses me again, slowly, as if all the time in the world is at his mercy. He moves downward, grazing an earlobe, suckling at the newfound sweet-spot on my neck. He is mesmerized at the way he makes me sigh. _I _am mesmerized at the way he can make me sigh. "Whe…Where did you learn to d-" I cut myself off with a sharp intake of breath as he runs his hands over my breasts, slightly teasing the erect peaks. _Oh. My. God. _As if his soft touch alone didn't send me over the edge, he takes one peak into his mouth, sucking ever so lightly, and then the other. My back arches in hopes of more pleasure.

Peeta is a quick study, learning where to touch, how gently or how firm. It doesn't take him long to learn how to manipulate my flesh and leave me quivering from his touch.

I'm panting and we haven't even gotten to the 'exciting' part yet. "Please… Please, Peeta." I beg, grasping hold of his shoulder. He shoots me a strangely sexy look, and then he is moving south again. Kissing my belly, my hips, and then he is trailing his tongue along the inside of my thigh. He nips and kisses, and before I know it, sounds I didn't even know I could make are escaping my lips, and it feels as if my insides are melting.

Adrenaline rushes through my veins at his touch, and I am shaking and weak before I realize his next move. His fingers brush the tender flesh around my center, and his tongue quickly follows. _What the- OHMYGOD. _My back arches higher, and a exceptionally loud groan escapes me. His fingers dart in and out of me, his mouth all the while keeping another warm knot of nerves busy. Not long into this new dance, I feel a strange fire building deep within.

Building and building with each movement, I arch higher, as high as my body will let me. Writhing against his movements, release explodes around me. Animalistic sounds fill the room, and I hope for our sake that the walls are sound proof. Peeta slows his motions, bringing me down gently. I sigh as I attempt to catch my breathe, but apparently he wont have that.

He's stalking me again. Crawling over my sweaty body, pinning my arms to the bed, watching my facial expressions the whole way. He leans over me and places his lips on mine. Ever the gentleman, he's soft as he repositions my hips next to his, preparing for a new grade of pleasure entirely.

I loosely wrap my legs around his waist, granting him permission to do whatever he pleases. I close my eyes and let my head fall to the side when he positions himself at my entrance.

"Just don't…hurt me, okay?"

"Wait," he hesitates. "Did…did I hurt you last time?" He says, looking up at me.

I sit bolt upright, scooting away from him. I am suddenly on the defensive. _I'm such an _idiot. _Of course now he wont want to do anything… _"What? No. Of course not. I mean. There was a lot of…discomfort…in the beginning, but I got over it…"

"Katniss…" He sighs.

I groan and flop back on the bed, roughly wiping my face with my hands. I lay there in silence for a minute, occasionally sneaking a peak at Peeta; he too is inwardly arguing with himself. _Dammnit. We've come this far. I'm not just going to let him stop. Maybe I can distract him? What? What am I saying… I've never… Oh! _A little nudge. _I've never done…_that_ before… _Another nudge. _STOP IT! Now is _not_ the time to make yourself noticed, youngster._

I sit up again, and he looks at me, startled. I shoot him what I think to be a seductive smirk, but I probably ended up looking like a lost duck. I get up on my knees and start crawling towards him. I am the hunter. He looks at me questioningly, but I don't give in. Pushing his shoulders, I make him lay back. I snake my fingers down his chest, lower and lower, until he exhales deeply, his stomach shaking. _Well. I must be doing _something_ right…_

I dip my head down, running my tongue along his shaft, from the base to tip several times over, and his hips buck reflexively. I smile and then take the top most part of him into my mouth, sucking gently. His breath catches, he's clenching his muscles. He only allows a few minutes of this before he is trying to pull away from me. Several times I slap his hands away, but persistence pays off and he pulls me up.

"Katniss, no… If you cant be completely present in this, then I don't want to do anything else. I refuse to hurt you."

"Dammnit, Peeta. Just shut up and _take me!_" I yell at him, instantly regretting my words at his astonished look. I never swear. _Ever._

_He must know that shit just got real._ I think before I lean over him and attack his face with kisses.

"Please?" I whisper into his ear like a defeated child.

He sighs, then kisses me back. Hands in hair, grappling for anything to hold, something to bring us closer. He flips me over onto my back so he his hovering over me, and I spread my legs, letting him know I am ready.

He sighs again, then positions his length at my entrance once again. Slowly, he pushes his way in, and I grunt, grabbing for something to grasp, anything to keep painful sounds from escaping..

"Are you okay?" He asks softly.

I nod and rock my hips slightly, telling him to go on. It doesn't hurt like it did the first time, and it surely isn't nearly as pleasurable as his mouth had been, but something about having him inside me makes everything better. Like there are no problems with our world. Peeta is mine, and nothing else matters.

He increases his rhythm slightly, and I grunt again, stopping him in his tracks.

"Katniss, are you sure? You really don't sound like you're enjoying this…"

"Mother of Snow Peeta. Shut up. This is not the time for talking!" I yell. _Sheesh. I never yell. This baby is really going to make secret keeping hard_… "I _would_ enjoy it more if you would just shut up."

"B-but." I sit up on my elbows, giving him a death stare.

"Peeta. I _am_ enjoying this. You are just…really, _really_…BIG. Large things don't normally fit into smaller spaces. We just have to…'break me in…'" I say, a deep blush forming on my cheeks.

He laughed as understanding crossed his features, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"Trust me," I say. "I am fine."

"Okay," he says, starting up his steady motions again. He rocks back and forth, and the sensation he brings is amazing. His hands caress my thighs as he moves, his thrust steadily becoming faster and more urgent.

With each kiss his thrusts become even more demanding and I push my knees farther apart to give him access to every part of me.

He pauses and puts his weight on his elbows, watching me for a few moments as he moves in and out of me steadily. It feels good now, better than I would have guessed. Shifting his weight to his left elbow he reaches down between us and finds the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of my legs that he'd kissed and suckled before. His movements are met with the gentle motion of his thumb between my legs and I moan loudly, gasping for air.

"Uhhnnn!" I dig my nails into his shoulder, throwing my head back, burying it in the pillows.

His thrust become harder, harsher as he slams into me. I strain against him, trying to get even closer, his hand still playing with my tender bundle of nerves.

He leans down and kisses me, but I am too consumed in my own ecstasy to form a proper kiss for him.. Then he dips his head down and kisses my neck as my futile cries reach his ears. He tenses up, trying to delay his own release until I can reach my own. He pumps in and out, his fingers move in circular motions, and then I feel that fiery tension again. Building and growing, until finally release is met and I convulse under him. He removes his hand, and really goes even harder than before, riding me through my climax and leading to his own. A second wave of euphoric tension escapes me as he rides out his own orgasm before I realize I've been screaming.

We both let out a collective breath, and Peeta removes himself, then falls over onto the bed next to me. Enjoying the 'afterglow' was almost as good as the actual activity, and after a while of staring in to nothingness, Peeta reaches down and takes my hand in his, and brings it up to his lips, kissing my wrist. "I love you," his whispers.

A nudge from within, and I roll over and place a kiss on his shoulder, then snuggle up to him, sighing sleepily. "I love you, too," I breath as my eyelids flutter closed.

_**Heyyy there. Please don't hate me. *backs away slowly***_

_**This update took forever. First the writers block, then my computer crashes. Sheesh. BUT. I'd hope you found this chapter to be enjoyable?**_

_**Well. The next one is already part way finished, so, I expect it to be up before long. Maybe 4-5 days? I don't know. But, I have someone keeping me on track now, So I should be updating more often! Yay! And. PLEASE leave me a review?**_


	10. Chapter 10, Part 1

_**BEFORE YOU KILL ME: **_

_**(because believe me, I know you have every right to.)**_

_I know it's been well over a month since my last update. Home life is rough, I've had a lot to do, and there really wasn't all that much spare time for writing. _

_I've been working on this two part bit for a good time now, and I only hope you will enjoy it, because let's face it. If I've put this much work into it and you DON'T like it, then I will be forced to kill this story off. For a little while at least :P_

_I am going to try my hardest to get the ball rolling, because in all actuality, we are getting quite close to the end. So. Yeah. _

_**IN ANSWER TO SOME OF YOUR REVIEWS:**_

_**ANOTHER QUICK AUTHORS NOTE BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING.**_

_This has to do with a few reviews I received concerning the fact that Peeta hasn't noticed Katniss' baby bump during certain…'activities'._

_I'D LIKE TO CLEAR THAT UP._

_In this case, Katniss IS showing. In HER eyes. She is one of those people who is tiny the whole pregnancy. You must also take in to account the fact that she is only about 4-6ish months pregnant here, and you don't normally begin showing until around this time. _

_In any case, what I am trying to say is, SHE has noticed the subtle changes in her body, because SHE knows her body, and SHE knows something isn't normal. _

_Everyone else is assuming it is just regular old Katniss. _

_So really, it's just like her belly is BARELY protruding. Like anyone's tummy would after an exceptionally large meal. Not enough to start questioning things._

_And, from Peeta's POV, she just seems to be fattening up a little bit before going back in to the arena. (But of course I wouldn't have expected you to know that. That is why I just told you.)_

_Okay. You can read this delicious chapter now :)_

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"_No! What are you doing?! That's my baby! You can't take him!" I hopelessly yelled at the Peacekeepers. "IT ISNT HIS FAULT! It was me. Take me instead, please!" I called after them as they strode down the lane from the Victors Village, my sleeping baby boy in hand. The tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I helplessly watch them walk away._

"_Gale, can't you do something? Go after them? Please?" I sob._

_He shakes his head, and pulls me into a warm hug, letting me soak his shirt with my tears. We stand there in front of my home in the Village for what seems like hours, and when I've finally calmed enough to speak, Gale's shirt is plastered to his skin._

"_It…It just isn't fair," I sniffle."First they take Peeta, a-and now our son… I… I just wish I were dead." Now I am really sobbing, and Gale is shaking me. Not just nudging me, vigorously shaking me. And then I realize it isn't Gale shaking me. It's Peeta._

"Katniss?" He sounds alarmed. "Katniss, wake up. What is it honey?"

Once my eyes come in to focus, and I can clearly see all of Peeta's scrunched up features, the tears spill over, and I am blubbering like a baby. He takes me in his arms, and even though I am sticky, sweaty, and very much naked, neither of us seems to really notice. He holds me gingerly, rubbing my back, running his fingers through my tangled locks.

"What is it? Nightmare?" He says softly.

I nod into his shoulder as he holds me tighter, sobs rocking us.

"It's okay," he coos, rubbing my back. "It's alright." He says, his lips leaving soft trails of kisses up and down my shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" He says quietly.

I look up at him, stunned. He's never asked to talk about my dreams before. I guess he always assumed they were about the arena. I sniffle, gazing into his eyes, still shaking slightly.

"I… No. Not this dream. Not now, anyways…" I hiccup.

He doesn't respond with words, but he pulls me closer to him, like he is holding on for dear life. We sit there on the bed encased in each other's arms for what seems like only a little while when there's a knock at the door. I scramble down under the covers and wait for whomever to enter.

It's the Avox girl.

She avoids Peeta completely, and walks over to me, handing me a note with my name penned in Effie's distinguishable scrawl across the top. I thank her, and she leaves as I skim over the contents of the note.

"What is it?" Peeta asks.

"No coaching today." I say.

"Really? Let me see," he replies, holding his hand out for the little note card. He too reads the note to himself, several times probably, to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. "Do you know what this means?" I shake my head at him, not understanding. "Katniss, it means we have a whole day to ourselves. To do whatever we please… No coaching, no training."

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere, though…" I say.

"Who says we can't?"

About an hour later, after warm showers and breakfast, Peeta leads me up to the roof. We lounged and talked, cuddled and laughed. When the growling of my stomach grew too noisy to bear, we ordered lunch and had a picnic. We made up games, Peeta sketched me and I practiced knots with hanging vines.

No one bothered us. I lay on Peeta, my head in his lap as we watched the sun set over the city. We didn't join the others for dinner, and no one summoned us. He played with my hair, and for once, it honestly didn't bother me. It actually felt…_good._ And then, without warning, he stopped. "What?" I pouted.

He snorted and then said, "Nothing… I-I just wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."

I strong 'kick' in my abdomen. _Well played, baby…well played._ I wanted him. Right here, right now, on this rooftop. Out in the open, where anyone could walk in on us, and I wouldn't have cared.

I turned over and pinned Peeta beneath me as swiftly as I could manage. Parts of my body were starting to swell in unnatural ways and I was surprised no one had noticed yet. _Maybe they just think I've gained extra weight for the Games?_ I dismissed the thought and threw my mouth on his. My kisses weren't forceful, but they weren't exactly gentle either.

Thoughts kept on popping into my head, and every time one did, I would become more urgent, press harder against Peeta, hoping he would take the hint.

_Katniss, you need to tell him. He has a right to know…_

Kisses on his collar bone, all the way up to the shell of his ear.

_It's his baby too, you know. It really isn't nice to keep something like this from him. I thought we could tell him anything? Why is this so different?_

I started to remove his shirt. That drew the line. Peeta pushed me away, gasping for air. "Katniss… I… Not here… " He panted.

I sighed. He knew something was up. After he'd caught his breath, I sat back off of him, finding a comfortable position for the coming conversation. "Peeta… I-I need to tell you something… I've sort of been keeping it a secret."

"Katniss, you know you can tell me anything. There's no reason to hide anything from me," He said smiling, tracing my jaw with his thumb.

I smiled back at him, quite unconvincingly too. "Peeta, I-" I hesitated. "Do you remember when-" I couldn't find the right words.

"Katniss, go on. Surely it can't be as bad as you are making me think it is?" He questioned.

"Well… It kind of is… Peeta. I'm-"

"There you two are! I've been searching for you forever! You've missed lunch and dinner! That's just bad manners." Effie snapped, and we both looked to the ground, ashamed. "Do you have any clue as to what time it is? You need your beauty rest for your interviews tomorrow. The whole country will be watching!"

"Sorry, Effie..." We both mumbled, grabbing our things and getting up off the ground.

"Now off to bed! Both of you! We've got a big, big, big, big day tomorrow!"

We walk silently down the stairs and slip into my room, undressing and getting into bed without a word. I cuddled into Peeta, and he scooted closer to me, sighing into my neck. "Whatever it is you wanted to tell me, do it when you are ready. Don't pressure yourself, because then it will come out all wrong, and you will regret it." He yawned, and went still. He must be really exhausted...

I instantly felt my insides clench. I felt absolutely terrible about not telling him, but how would I feel _after_ I told him? We'd probably both be dead a minute after the gong sounded, signaling the beginning of the Quell.

I laid there in his comforting grasp for hours, just listening to the evenness of his breathing and thinking. _What should I do?_ Only just before dawn did I finally drift off into a somewhat peaceful sleep.

The next morning, we are woken by the sobs of my prep team, as our sleeping in the same bed has sent them over the edge. Once they've calmed themselves enough, they send Peeta to his own room for prep, and I am left alone with my team. The usual chatter has been suspended. In fact, there is little talk at all, other than for me to raise my chin, or a comment on how to apply a certain piece of makeup. It's nearly lunch time when I feel something drip on to my shoulder, and turn to find Flavius snipping away at my hair, silent tears running down his face. Venia gives him a look, and he gently sets the scissors down on the table, and removes himself from the room.

Now it's just me and Venia. The silence continues on as she does my hair, nails, and the rest of my makeup, her fingers flying swiftly to make up for the absence of her teammates. The rest of our time together is spent avoiding gazes and keeping the silence, and it is only when Cinna arrives to approve me that she takes my hands , looks me straight in the eye, and says, "We would all like you to know what a…privilege it has been to make you look your best." Then she hastens from the room.

A single tear escapes my eye at her heart-breaking words. I am certain by them that they are sure I won't be returning after these Games. _Does the whole world know it?_ I look at Cinna, seeing the look in his eyes, certainly he knows. But, as promised there is no danger of tears from him.

"So, what am I wearing tonight?" I ask, eyeing the garment bag that holds my dress.

"President Snow put in the dress order himself," says Cinna. Unzipping the bag, he reveals to me one of the dresses I wore for my photo shoot. "Even though they announced the Quarter Quell the night of the photo shoot, people still got to vote for their favorite dress, and this was the winner. The President says you are to wear it tonight. All of our objections were ignored, of course."

I rub a bit of the silk between my fingers, trying to understand Snow's reasoning. I suppose since I was the greatest offender, my pain, loss, and humiliation should be placed under the brightest spotlight. This, he thinks, will make that clear. It's so barbaric, the president turning my wedding gown into my shroud, that the blow strikes home, leaving me with a dull ache inside. I sigh. "Well, it would be a waste of such a pretty dress" is all I can say.

Carefully, Cinna helps me into the gown, silently acknowledging my slightly protruding stomach. As the dress settles on my shoulders, I can't help but give a shrug in complaint. "Was it always this heavy?" I ask. I remember several of the dresses being dense, but this one now seems like it weighs just over a ton.

Cinna hesitates, "I had to make a few slight alterations. Because of the lighting," he says. I nod, but I don't know what the lighting has to do with anything. He decks me out with the shoes and pearl jewelry, waiting to place the veil on my head until last.

"You're ravishing," he says. "Now my dear Katniss, because this dress is so fitted, I don't want you raising your arms above your head. Well, not until you twirl, anyway.

"Will I be twirling again?" I ask, thinking of my interview last year.

"I am almost positive Caesar will ask you to, and if he doesn't, you must suggest it yourself. But, not right away. Save it for the big finale," Cinna instructs.

"Give me a signal so I know when," I say.

"Of course. Any plans for this interview?" Cinna says. "I know Haymitch left you to your own devices yesterday."

"Not really. I guess I just plan on winging it. And the funny thing is, I'm not even nervous this time." There isn't a bit of untruthfulness with my words. No matter how much Snow hates me, or however much I resent him for making me wear this dress, This Capitol audience is mine.

We meet up with Peeta and his team at the elevator. He is dressed in an elegant tuxedo and white gloves, the sort of thing a Capitol groom would wear.

"You guys go on down, I need to speak with Peeta for a minute." I said, nodding slightly at Cinna, hoping he would understand what I meant. "Alone." I added.

They all agreed, and Peeta stared at me questioningly while I watched the elevator doors close. "What is it, Katniss?"

"I've been trying to find a way to tell you since… Well. Since I found out. But, that sort of thing just isn't easy, you know. So, I've been floundering for the right words, and I really can't find them so I guess-" Peeta cut me off by placing his mouth on mine; a soft kiss.

"You're rambling," He told me.

"Right… Uh. Well. The thing is Peeta, well." I took a deep breath. _You can do this,_ I told myself. "You remember the night of the announcement?" I asked.

He nodded.

"And, you remember what happened..._after?_"

He nodded again.

"Well. I-I'm." I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I looked to the ground, searching for something to say, do. Anything to help him understand what it was I was trying to tell him.

He reached over to me and lifted my chin up so I'd meet his eyes. He gave me that prodding look- the one that says 'go-on-nothing-you-say-is-going-to-make-me-change-my-mind-about-you-at-all,' and then I finally realized that he was right. He loved me. I loved him. Nothing could ever change that in a million years. So I did what I thought would make understanding easy. I slowly moved my hands up from my sides, and folded them over my stomach protectively. I looked to my hands, then back to Peeta, waiting for the realization to cross his features.

He sighed. "I know."

…

…

…

_**Le Authors Note:**_

_Woo-hoo for cliff hangers!_

_Now go review, and let me know how much you hate me for leaving you without updates for so long. Don't worry. The next part will be up in a few hours :P_

_AND as always, a wonderful thanks to my lovely Beta, mage-luna. (GO CHECK OUT HER STUFF GUISE. SHE IS AWESOME.) If it weren't for you, I probably would have thrown in the towel on this story a few weeks ago. _


	11. Chapter 10, Part 2

_**Hai. Great cliff hanger, huh?**_

_Glad you liked the first part, and I am super happy that you aren't mad at me for being so bad at updating._

_I honestly have NO idea when the next chapter will be available. I am re-reading Catching Fire and then Mockingjay, upon hopes that my inspiration will spark once more!_

_So. Until then, I hope you enjoy what is already posted here._

…

…

…

Now I was confused. _How could he possibly know?!_

"Well. I didn't know for sure, but I'd suspected." I just looked at him. I think before the war, they would have called this look the 'deer-in-the-headlights.' "Oh come on, Katniss. All the warning signs were there!"

"W-warning signs?"

"Getting sick, dizzy spells… You know."

"My mother never talked to me about what it would feel like. She didn't think it would ever happen to me… Hell. I didn't think it would ever happen to me." I said quietly.

"Oh. I-I just know because of my mother. She was pregnant once after she had me. I was thirteen. She lost the baby though…." He trailed off.

_Well this is awkward… *nudge* You aren't making things any better, you,_ I inwardly scolded.

Peeta started towards me, and I instantly knew he was coming in for a hug. I let him, and I held on tight. We were both crying, sobbing like children who'd dropped their candy in the dirt.

"W-what are we g-going to do?" I hiccupped.

"I don't know…" He said, much calmer than me. He pulled away from me and wiped the tears from my face, careful not to bother Cinna's masterpiece. "We will think of something. We always do." He said, taking my hand.

He leaned in and left a ginger kiss on my lips, then led me to the elevators in silence. The whole way down we had to focus on looking as if nothing could be wrong.

When the doors opened, I instantly located Cinna and the rest of our group. They were waiting for us. Cinna raised his eyebrows at me questioningly. A slight nod from me was the only thing he needed to understand.

Effie thought nothing of our little exchange and led us to where the other tributes were gathered, so that they may find their seats before the interviews began.

The other Tributes were gathered offstage talking softly, and when Peeta and I arrived, they fell completely silent. Everyone is staring daggers at my dress. Are they jealous of its beauty? The power it may have to manipulate the crowd?

"I can't believe Cinna put you in that thing." Says Finnick, breaking the awkward silence.

"He didn't have a choice. President Snow made him." I say defensively. I won't let anyone criticize Cinna.

Cashmere tosses her blond curls back and spits, "Well you look ridiculous!" as she grabs her brothers hand, pulling him in place to lead our procession on stage. The other Tributes begin to line up as well, and I am confused because while they are all angry, some give us sympathetic pats on the shoulder. Johanna Mason even stops to straighten my pearl necklace.

"Make him pay for it, okay?" She says.

I nod, but I don't understand what she means until we are sitting out on stage, and Caesar has done the opening spiel and the interviews have begun. This is the first time I realize the depth of betrayal felt among the victors and the rage that accompanies it. But they are so smart, so wonderfully smart about how they play it, because it all comes back on the government, President Snow in particular. Not everyone though. There are the old throwbacks who are just here for another Games, or the ones who are too drugged or lost to join in on the attack. But there are enough Victors who still have the wits and nerve to come out fighting.

Cashmere starts with a speech about how she can't stop crying every time she thinks about the Capitol losing us. Gloss recalls the kindness shown to him and his sister by the Capitol. Beetee questions the legality of the Quell. Finnick recites a poem about his one true love. When Johanna gets her turn, she's asking if something can't be done about the situation. Seeder talks about how everyone in District Eleven assumes Snow is all-powerful, so why doesn't he change the Quell. Chaff comes right out on her heels insisting that the President could change the Quell if he really wanted to.

By the time I am introduced, the audience is an absolute wreck. They have been weeping and collapsing, and even calling for a change. The sight of me in my bridal attire nearly causes a riot. No more me, no more star-crossed lovers from District Twelve. No more wedding. I can see that Caesars professionalism is showing signs of cracking as he attempts to quiet the audience, and my three minutes are ticking by slowly.

Finally there is a lull and he gets out, "So, Katniss, obviously this is a very emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

When I speak, my voice trembles. "Only that I am so sorry you all won't be able to be at my wedding, but I am glad that you at least get to see me in my dress. Isn't it just…the most beautiful thing?" I don't have to look to Cinna for a signal; I know this is the right time. I begin to spin slowly, raising the sleeves of my heavy gown above my head.

When I hear the screams of the crowd, I think it is because I must look stunning. Then I notice the smoke rising up around me. From fire. Not the flickery stuff I wore last year. This is much more real that devours my dress. Charred bits of black float in the air and pearls fall to the ground. Somehow I am afraid to stop, so I keep spinning and spinning. For a second I am gasping, completely engulfed in the fire, and then as if on a cue, the fire stops completely. I slowly come to a stop, wondering if I am naked, and why Cinna has arranged to burn away my wedding dress.

Thankfully I'm still fully clothed, and in a dress the exact design of the wedding gown. Only, it is the color of coal and made of tiny feathers. Wonderingly, I lift my long flowing sleeves into the air, and that's when I see myself on the projection screen. Clothed in black, except for my sleeves. No, not sleeves. Wings. Cinna has turned me into a Mockingjay.

I am still smoldering a little when Caesar reaches over a tentative hand, touching my head piece. "Feathers," he says. "You're like a bird."

"Yes," I exhale. "A Mockingjay I think." And there's a little nudge in my belly. Instinctively, I go to place my hand just over where the little one would be, but catch myself at the last second.

"Well. Hats off to your stylist. I don't think anyone can argue that that's not the most spectacular thing we've ever seen in an interview. Cinna, I think you better take a bow!" Caesar gestures for Cinna to rise. He does, and makes a small gracious bow. Suddenly I am terrified for him. What has he done? An act of rebellion in itself. And he's done it all for me.

The audience, stunned into silence, break into wild applause. I can barely hear the buzzer going off, indicating that my three minutes are up. Caesar thanks me, and I return to my seat, my dress feeling lighter than air.

Peeta's up now; he and Caesar have been a natural team since our first interviews last year. Effortlessly, they open with a few jokes about fires and feathers and over cooked poultry, but everyone can see that Peeta is preoccupied. Caesar see's this, and directs the conversation to what is really on everyone's minds.

"So, Peeta. What was it like when you found out about the Quell, after all you've been through?"

"I was shocked. We both were. I mean. One minute I am seeing Katniss looking absolutely beautiful in these wonderful wedding gowns, and then..."

"You realized there was never going to be a wedding?" Caesar finished for him.

Peeta sat quietly for a few moments, debating. "Caesar, I have a secret. Do you think our friends here can keep it?" He half whispered.

Caesar looked out off the stage, and the audience let out a collective uncomfortable laugh. "I'm feeling quite certain of it." Caesar said, playing along.

Peeta leaned in closer to the host. "We're already married." He said quietly.

The crowd gasped, and I buried my face in the folds of my skirt to hide my confusion.

"It's not official or anything, I mean, we didn't go down to the Justice Building with our families and sign any papers. You see, we have this little tradition in District Twelve we like to call the Toasting." He explained, going in to more detail. The crowd sat and listened attentively. Surely we would be the talk of the city. Again.

"And this was before the Quell?" Caesar asked.

"Of course. I'm sure we'd never have done it if we knew," Peeta said. "But who could have seen this coming? We went through the games, we were victors and everyone was thrilled to see us together, and then out of nowhere... I mean, how could anyone anticipate such a thing?"

The crowd applauded Peeta's words. "You couldn't," Caesar said, putting his arm around Peeta. "But I for one, am glad that you both at least shared a few months of happiness."

Enormous applause from the audience. As if encouraged, I looked up from my feathers and let them see my tragic smile of thanks.

"I'm not glad." Peeta said, pulling the crowd back in. "I wish we had waited."

Caesar gaped at Peeta. "Surely some time is better than no time?"

"Maybe I'd think that too, Caesar. If it weren't for the baby."

…

…

…

_**A note to my lovely readers:**_

_I'd just like to let you know how amazing you all are._

_Your reviews (most of them) inspire me to continue writing, and for that I am grateful._

_This story really started out as nothing, and you all have helped me to turn it in to something._

_And, I know I haven't been the most reliable with updating regularly, so I would just like to thank you for sticking with me._

_Well. Yea. THANK YOU. You all are amazing._

_I just thought you should know._

_Be a sport and leave me a review? All feedback is greatly appreciated!_

_And, as always, thanks go out to my beta, mage-luna. She is wonderful, and you are committing a crime by not checking out her work._


	12. Chapter 11

_**Hi there, babies! I've missed you! I bet you've missed me too!**_

_**I bet you're thinking 'holy crap I never thought she would update this story again!**_

_**Well, you would be wrong :P**_

_**So here's the run down. I've been absent for a while.**_

_**I lost inspiration for this plot, and now I am attempting to find it again. Though trust me when I say that I am not quite as evil as some other fan fiction authors who only update like once a year. **_

_**So. Love me. :3**_

_**I hope this chapter is everything you expect it to be, even though it probably won't be. So. Yeah.**_

_**Read on, my little Padawons.**_

_**XxXxXxX**_

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" Peeta asks as soon as the doors to the elevator close.

"No, I just-" I say as Peeta brings me in for a hug. He rubs my back and wipes away my tears.

Somewhere, very far off, is a place called District Twelve where my loved ones will be dealing with the fallout from this night. Just a brief hovercraft ride away is an arena where, tomorrow, Peeta and I and the other Tributes will face our own form of punishment. But even if all of us meet terrible ends, something happened on that stage tonight that can't be undone. We victors staged out own uprising, and maybe, just maybe, the Capitol won't be able to contain this one.

The shrieking and screams from the terrified crowd fill my mind and I shudder in Peeta's arms as my eyes close, a final tear escapes me as I begin to remember.

_Caesar is unable to reign in the crowd again, not even when Peeta's buzzer sounds. Peeta nods a good-bye, then goes back to his seat next to me. They blast the anthem as loud as possible, and it lets us know where we stand in the program. I rise, and as I do, I sense Peeta reaching for me. Tears stain his face as we join hands. _

_I look to the crowd, but the only faces I see are Rue and Thresh's family, the other pained parents we saw in the crowds of the other Districts we saw on the Victory Tour. Suddenly, I turn and offer Chaff my hand, I feel my fingers close around the stump that now completes his arm and hold fast._

_And then it happens. Up and down the row, the victors begin to rise and join hands. Some right away, others were unsure, but caught up in the demands of those around them. The anthem plays its final strains; all twenty-four of us stand in one unbroken line in what must be the first public show of unity since the Dark Days. You can see the realization of this as the screens begin to fade into blackness, but it is too late. Everyone has seen._

Peeta takes my hand and walks me into the suite, and sits me down on one of the couches. We sit there quietly waiting for the others to return, not needing words to fill the empty void. Just being together is enough for us.

Not soon after our arrival, Haymitch walks through the door. "It's madness out there. Everyone's been sent home and they've canceled the recap of the interviews for the Districts."

Peeta and I both stand and rush to the window, trying to make sense of everything that is happening. "What are they saying?" Peeta asks. "Are they asking the President to stop the Games?"

"I don't think they know themselves what to ask. The whole situation is unprecedented. Even the idea of opposing the Capitol's agenda is a source of confusion for the people here." Haymitch says. "But there's no way Snow would even consider stopping the games. You do know that, right?"

Of course I do. I know he'd never be able to back down now. The only other option he has is to strike back at us, and strike hard. "Are the others coming back?" I ask him.

"All Capitol residents were ordered back to their homes, so I doubt they'll be coming back here. Especially not with those mobs out there," he sighs.

"But that means-" I start, but Peeta cuts in and finishes for me.

"We'll never see them again," he says quietly. "You'll tell them goodbye for us though, wont you Haymitch?" Peeta asks. Haymitch nods.

"More than that," I say. "Make it special. Tell them how much we appreciate them, Effie especially. Tell them that we send our love," I say as I look to Peeta with a half smile. I feel like crying, but I know this is not the time to break down. _We have to be strong, okay?_ I think to the little one.

Haymitch nods as he considers. "Well I guess this is where we say our goodbyes as well."

"Any last words of advice?" Peeta asks.

"Stay alive," Haymitch replies gruffly. That's almost an old joke with us now. He gives us both a quick hug, but I can tell that that is all he can bear. "Now go to bed, you need your rest."

"Take care," I try to say quietly, but my voice cracks and I can tell I am on the verge of sobbing. Peeta wraps his arms around me and leads me down the hallway with our bedrooms. His door is first, so we stop there, but I don't want him to let go, because I know if he does, I'll fall completely apart.

Peeta releases his hold on me enough to bring my face into his full view. "Do you think you can wait for me long enough that I can get a shower?"

"No, don't go," I hiccup. "Besides, there's a shower in my room."

"Okay," He whispers, and then I'm totally useless. Weak as he is with his Capitol replacement leg, he whips me up into his arms and carries me the rest of the way to my room and softly deposits me on the bed. "Hey, let's get you washed up, okay?"

"Okay," you can barely hear it, but I nod, so I guess he understands. I'm way past being uncomfortable with Peeta seeing me naked, so I don't mind when he slips the zipper of my dress down and helps me out of it. We don't talk, and I don't fight him as he washes the make up from my body; I'm too exhausted, and I know he is too.

When I'm all clean, I at least dry myself partially before he really realizes how pathetic I am, so he takes my towel and does it for me, then helps me into a simple night gown.

"I'm sorry," I say, but my words are still hardly noticeable.

"It's okay," he says as he embraces me softly. "I get it." Peeta helps me into bed, and then I wait for him to clean himself up. When he returns all showered off and free of makeup, he climbs into bed with me, and we lay there for a while.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I ask him suddenly.

"What?" He says, confused.

I turn over and face him. "About the baby. If you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh… Well, I guess it just seemed like you didn't want me to know."

"I wish you had confronted me about it. I think it would make all of _this,_" I said, gesturing to our surroundings. "A lot easier to handle…"

"I'm sorry," he says, and I can hear the pain in his voice. I lean in and kiss him softly, even though I've managed to somehow sew myself back together, I feel as if my seams are tearing.

"Don't be sorry," I say. "I need you to help hold me together in there, you know. We both do." I curl up to him close, tucking my head under his chin, and he holds me tight.

The rest of the night is spent holding each other. I'm not sure if either of us really do get any sleep, but when the sun rises, I feel wide awake and wholly un-rested. I try not to move too much, because it actually seems like Peeta is asleep, but I know I've failed when he groans and stretches next to me.

"Morning," I sigh and smile, which makes him smile. If today is going to be our last day together, I don't want our last memories to be sad ones. "I love you," I say, and I hear the smallest intake of breath from behind me.

Cinna and Portia have arrived to separate and prep us for murder. I take a deep breath and say my goodbye with a kiss, the deepest most passionate kiss I can muster, and then Portia whisks him away from me.

_**Awh! Aren't they so cute?!**_

_**So, I've just finished my re-read of the Series and OHMYGLOB I have so many new ideas, okay.**_

_**When I was finishing up this chapter, I actually took some breaks and I now have upwards of six new chapters outlined! Isn't that exciting? **_

_**I hope that in the coming weeks I will be able to write and update more, but just to be safe, don't expect too much from me, okay?**_

_**I love you all! As always, I'm sending love to my beta Mage-Luna (even though she didn't beta this chapter. Charlotte did! Because Mage-Luna is sick!)**_

_**Siriusly guise. If you don't check out her work, well. I may have to punish you!**_

_**Don't forget to leave me a review!**_


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